I am (fast) approaching some very real changes in my life. And as time passes, as the sun sets and the sun rises each day, some of the changes have happened and I get closer and closer to more of the changes. I try really hard to remain present and enjoy each day, but if I am going to be completely honest, I am NOT accomplishing this very well. I am looking back and regretting and questioning and trying to sort "it" all out - and I am looking forward with some amount of fear and dread. What a lousy way to live each day of my life. And I KNOW this. I know it all the way down to the bottom of my heart, but I can't seem to let it all go. I am floundering.
So, because
"Change is the only constant."
And
"You know, by the time you reach my age, you have made plenty of mistakes if you've lived your life properly." ~Ronald Reagan.
Then it really all gets down to this, doesn't it?
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
As I have been writing this - which mean writing, reading, and then deleting and rewriting, I have realized that I am not living any part of the Serenity Prayer these days. In fact, this is the way I have been living my life lately:
God please change all the hearts of all the people that I am trying so desparately to change and can't, change all the things going on that I don't like and don't feel good, change my finances, my kids, my friends, and for heavens sake, fix my love life, and/or if that is not possible, please explain to me what is happening and why you are allowing all this to happen, because it just makes no sense to me. And God if I am the problem, tell me what to do different so I can have what I want, deserve, am supposed to have. Because life is just not supposed to be this way.
Blech, yuck, gag, gag, spit!!!!!!!
So, let's see what the serenity prayer really says:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change"
God is defined as the one Supreme Being, the creator and ruler of the universe.
Grant is defined as to give or bestow.
Serenity is defined as the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil; sereneness.
Serene is defined as calm, peaceful, or tranquil; unruffled.
Accept is defined as to take or receive and also to undertake the responsibility.
Thing is defined as
1. a material object without life or consciousness.
2. some entity, object, or creature that is not or cannot be specifically designated.
3. anything that is or may become an object of thought.
4. things, matters; affairs.
5. a fact, circumstance, or state of affairs.
6. an action, deed, event, or performance.
7. a particular, respect, or detail.
8. aim; objective.
Cannot is defined as
1. to NOT be able to; have the ability, power, or skill to.
2. to NOT know how to.
3. to NOT have the power or means to.
4. to NOT have the right or qualifications to.
5. may NOT; do NOT have permission to.
6. to NOT have the possibility.
Change is defined as to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.
So, this is what I have learned about the first step of the Serenity Prayer:
Creator of the universe,
give me the state of being calm, peaceful, and tranquil
to receive the material objects, entities, creatures, all objects of mine and others thought, all matters and affairs, actions, events, details, aims and objectives
which I do not have the ability, power or skill, don’t know how, don’t have the power or means, don't have the right or qualifications, don't have permission or even the possibility
to make the form, nature, content, future course of anything different from what it is or from what it would be.
I believe this is my prayer for this morning.
Namaste
wow very nice Judy.
ReplyDeleteJudy,
ReplyDeleteI found that very poignant and insightful. There are some things I read long ago that stick with me, and if you don't mind, I'd like to share them with you.
-The real voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
-We are, all of us, a compilation of all the great moments, good times, sorrows and pain that has brought us to this moment. We all, at one time or another, end up saying, "I deserve much better, why is there nothing but this for me?" But if we're looking with our old eyes, we continue to make decisions based on the things that may not have ever been real or true and certainly are not real or true anymore.
-Sometimes we get angry when we look back on times we've had to stand alone, and question the value of the people who weren't there when we thought we needed them. But here's the thing: we don't get what we want from others, nor do we get what we may have given them, we only get what they have to give. And if we don't get what we thought we should have or what we needed, maybe it's because they have given us something else that we wouldn't have found anywhere else instead--something within ourselves.
-We assume that all love that doesn't come directly to us, goes off and away, but sometimes, it just takes the long road home and oddly enough, sometimes the people we think have stolen it from our hearts are the ones that end up nourishing us. We just couldn't see through the hurt or the pain or just chose to continue to believe in the long ago. Sorrow and joy are like Ying and Yang...there can never be one without the other.
-The people in our lives are like pillars on a porch. Sometimes they hold us up, sometimes they lean on us, and sometimes it's just enough to know they're standing by.
I know you have many, many pillars standing by you Judy. As you go through the following days, look hard, with new eyes for the pearls, that God leaves for us along our way. Pick them up and treasure them for the moments that you need to and keep them with you. At the end of your challenges, you will find that while God gave you the pearls, you provided the string, to hold them and keep them close to you. You're strong, you have good friends and you are never, ever alone. Hug those pearls.
Blessings,
Mary Jo (Edgar) Sedlacek