It is time to start again.
Every minute is an opportunity to begin again.
I believe in more than myself; I believe in more than is seen; I believe that Love is powerful; And I believe, as much as we want to understand All, life is the search..... the journey. That IS what it is all about.
My Gabriel comes to me as an Indian Chief. I don't know why - I just know it is Him.
Last night the Indian Chief was not in my dreams, but rather the Dark Man. I am certain I screamed out in my sleep - for I was screaming in my dream or should I say nightmare. The Dark Man showing up in my dreams is a sign of something not right within or without my own self. He is a warning of danger to my spirit; my soul. He never wins. He is always defeated - if only in my waking up.
At Sunday School we heard a wonderful sermon from the series "It Was Not a Silent Night". The minister said that life is messy and chaotic and I wondered if somewhere along the line of growing up as a young child if I really got that message. I think, I missed that lesson somewhere along the way. I believe, I thought I had control of the mess and chaos, and if I tried hard enough, I could control my destiny, my happiness, my relationships, my work, my family, my.......... everything. And because all had not gone the way I wanted, I have assumed..... failure on my part or............ of course........... someone else's.
There was some amount of peace to hear this minister say that life is messy and chaotic. There was some amount of freedom that came for me hearing those words. It wasn't about me (or anyone else). It was just about how life is. The mess..... the chaos..... it was life. Get used to it. Cope. Find joy where you can. Be grateful when life is sweet. Cherish those moments. And give grace - loads and loads of grace when Love appears to not be present. Be Love when Love is not.
Namaste
Monday, December 20, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Happiness
From Eat, Pray, Love:
"But that's not how happines works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't you will leak away your innate contentment. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments."
This seems like such wise advice doesn't it: insisting on happiness. I believe her. I think it is probably the only way to go --- yet........ it wears me out to read. Why can't it be easier? Maybe that is what I want: easy-going happiness.......... happiness that comes easily and stays with little effort.
Not likely, mostly.
She also says: "I can see exactly where my episodes of unhappiness have brought suffering or distress or (at the very least) inconvenience to those around me. The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, but also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people."
Oh, I have so experienced this: getting in my own way.
Though not easy, but rather essential, I will rest tonight and strive for happiness tomorrow. However, I must say............. I go to bed feeling................ happy.
Namaste
"But that's not how happines works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't you will leak away your innate contentment. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments."
This seems like such wise advice doesn't it: insisting on happiness. I believe her. I think it is probably the only way to go --- yet........ it wears me out to read. Why can't it be easier? Maybe that is what I want: easy-going happiness.......... happiness that comes easily and stays with little effort.
Not likely, mostly.
She also says: "I can see exactly where my episodes of unhappiness have brought suffering or distress or (at the very least) inconvenience to those around me. The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, but also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people."
Oh, I have so experienced this: getting in my own way.
Though not easy, but rather essential, I will rest tonight and strive for happiness tomorrow. However, I must say............. I go to bed feeling................ happy.
Namaste
Saturday, December 4, 2010
50 Candles
I made it to 50. This is worthy of celebration. 50 years goes by really fast, but it is a long time. There is much in my life for which to be thankful. There has been much joy, love, growth, and happiness.
There have been many friends, some who came for a season, some who came for a reason, and some who have chosen to stay a lifetime. I have been blessed by each and every one. I am grateful.
I have family who have stood by me, encouraged me, and loved me even though we live so far away from one another. They have allowed me the freedom to be me. Through good times and bad times, I am grateful.
I have two young-adult children whose very existence brings a smile to my face. I can remember my prayers to God asking for these creatures to be brought into my life, and I remember the prayers prayed thanking Him for them, and asking for His protection, his healing, his wisdom, his kindness, his love, his instruction... in all things concerning me raising them and in all things concerning what they need from Him and from this world. If He loves them more than I love them, then they are in safe hands. I am grateful.
I have my health. I have my home. I have my job. I have some financial resources. I have some things. I am grateful.
I am thankful for my faith and the hope that fills my heart for this world and the people who live in it. I believe in Love. For that I am grateful.
I have known romantic love. Unfortunately, I have seen commitment fall short of forever, which sent me wondering if romantic love has ever been real for me (and many others, I suppose). I am grateful for the lessons learned and the happy memories.
Life is good much of the time. The goodness is usually found in kindness, compassion, love.
I may live 5 more minutes or 50 more years. I know not the time I have left.
I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will try to live my time well trying to make a difference.
Tonight, I will raise a glass and toat these 50 years and the rest of time left here on this earth.
Thank you, God, for all you have given me thus far and for holding me all these years. What would I have ever done without your grace, mercy and love. Thank you to those who pointed me towards You when You were Who and What I needed. I am grateful.
Namaste
There have been many friends, some who came for a season, some who came for a reason, and some who have chosen to stay a lifetime. I have been blessed by each and every one. I am grateful.
I have family who have stood by me, encouraged me, and loved me even though we live so far away from one another. They have allowed me the freedom to be me. Through good times and bad times, I am grateful.
I have two young-adult children whose very existence brings a smile to my face. I can remember my prayers to God asking for these creatures to be brought into my life, and I remember the prayers prayed thanking Him for them, and asking for His protection, his healing, his wisdom, his kindness, his love, his instruction... in all things concerning me raising them and in all things concerning what they need from Him and from this world. If He loves them more than I love them, then they are in safe hands. I am grateful.
I have my health. I have my home. I have my job. I have some financial resources. I have some things. I am grateful.
I am thankful for my faith and the hope that fills my heart for this world and the people who live in it. I believe in Love. For that I am grateful.
I have known romantic love. Unfortunately, I have seen commitment fall short of forever, which sent me wondering if romantic love has ever been real for me (and many others, I suppose). I am grateful for the lessons learned and the happy memories.
Life is good much of the time. The goodness is usually found in kindness, compassion, love.
I may live 5 more minutes or 50 more years. I know not the time I have left.
I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will try to live my time well trying to make a difference.
Tonight, I will raise a glass and toat these 50 years and the rest of time left here on this earth.
Thank you, God, for all you have given me thus far and for holding me all these years. What would I have ever done without your grace, mercy and love. Thank you to those who pointed me towards You when You were Who and What I needed. I am grateful.
Namaste
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Serenity Prayer Paraphrased by Me
Creator of the universe,
give me the state of being calm, peaceful, and tranquil
to receive the material objects, entities, creatures, all objects of mine and others thoughts, all matters and affairs, actions, events, details, aims and objectives
which I do not have the ability, power or skill, don’t know how, don’t have the power or means, don't have the right or qualifications, don't have permission or even the possibility
to make the form, nature, content, future course of anything different from what it is or from what it would be.
And Creator of the Universe,
give me
the quality of mind and spirit to face the difficulties, dangers, and pain regardless of my fears
to make the form, nature, content, future course of entities, objects, creatures, thoughts, matters, affairs, facts, circumstances, actions, deeds, events, aims and objectives different from what they are or from what they would be
if those somethings are within my abilities, power, skillset, means, right, qualifications, permission, and possibilities.
And Creator of the Universe, give me
the quality of mind and spirit to face the difficulties, dangers, and pain regardless of my fears
to make the form, nature, content, future course of entities, objects, creatures, thoughts, matters, affairs, facts, circumstances, actions, deeds, events, aims and objectives different from what they are or from what they would be
if those somethings are within my abilities, power, skillset, means, right, qualifications, permission, and possibilities.
give me
along with what I asked previously,
the knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgement as to action
to perceive or understand clearly and with certainty the
unlikeness or dissimilarity between what I cannot change and what I can change.
Amen
Serenity Prayer Part 3
Third part of the Serenity Prayer:
"And wisdom to know the difference."
And is defined as along or together with.
Wisdom is defined as the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgement as to action.
Wise is defined as havin the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right
Know is defined as to perceive or understand as fact or truth; to apprehend clearly and with certainty.
Difference is defined as an instance or point of unlikeness or dissimilarity.
Creator of the Universe,
give me
along with what I asked previously,
the knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgement as to action
to perceive or understand clearly and with certainty the
unlikeness or dissimilarity between what I cannot change and what I can change.
Amen
Namaste
"And wisdom to know the difference."
And is defined as along or together with.
Wisdom is defined as the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgement as to action.
Wise is defined as havin the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right
Know is defined as to perceive or understand as fact or truth; to apprehend clearly and with certainty.
Difference is defined as an instance or point of unlikeness or dissimilarity.
Creator of the Universe,
give me
along with what I asked previously,
the knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgement as to action
to perceive or understand clearly and with certainty the
unlikeness or dissimilarity between what I cannot change and what I can change.
Amen
Namaste
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Serenity Prayer Part 2
Courage to change the things I can.
Courage is defined in Dictionary.com as the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery. Synonyms: fearlessness, dauntlessness, intrepidity, pluck, spirit. Courage, bravery, valor, bravado refer to qualities of spirit and conduct. Courage permits one to face extreme dangers and difficulties without fear.
That definition is OK and agreeable, but somehow, I feel a bit incomplete - because I think that sometimes courage is facing the difficulty, danger, pain, etc., regardless of the fear. "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." ~Ambrose Redmoon. Mark Twain is quoted as saying "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."
I have this quote by Mary Anne Radmacher on the wall of my bedroom: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'."
Change is defined as to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.
Things is defined as material objects without life or consciousness; entities, objects, or creatures that are not or cannot be specifically designated; anything that is or may become an object of thought; matters; affairs; facts, circumstances, or states of affairs; actions, deeds, events, or performances; aims; objectives.
Can is defined as to be able to; have the ability, power, or skill to; to know how to; to have the power or means to; to have the right or qualifications to; may; NOT have permission to; to have the possibility.
My prayer today is:
Creator of the Universe,
give me
the quality of mind and spirit to face the difficulties, dangers, and pain regardless of my fears
to make the form, nature, content, future course of entities, objects, creatures, thoughts, matters, affairs, facts, circumstances, actions, deeds, events, aims and objectives different from what they are or from what they would be
if those somethings are within my abilities, power, skillset, means, right, qualifications, permission, and possibilities.
Amen....
and...
Namaste
Friday, November 26, 2010
Serenity Prayer Part 1
"The key to success is often the ability to adapt."
I am (fast) approaching some very real changes in my life. And as time passes, as the sun sets and the sun rises each day, some of the changes have happened and I get closer and closer to more of the changes. I try really hard to remain present and enjoy each day, but if I am going to be completely honest, I am NOT accomplishing this very well. I am looking back and regretting and questioning and trying to sort "it" all out - and I am looking forward with some amount of fear and dread. What a lousy way to live each day of my life. And I KNOW this. I know it all the way down to the bottom of my heart, but I can't seem to let it all go. I am floundering.
So, because
"Change is the only constant."
And
"You know, by the time you reach my age, you have made plenty of mistakes if you've lived your life properly." ~Ronald Reagan.
Then it really all gets down to this, doesn't it?
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
As I have been writing this - which mean writing, reading, and then deleting and rewriting, I have realized that I am not living any part of the Serenity Prayer these days. In fact, this is the way I have been living my life lately:
God please change all the hearts of all the people that I am trying so desparately to change and can't, change all the things going on that I don't like and don't feel good, change my finances, my kids, my friends, and for heavens sake, fix my love life, and/or if that is not possible, please explain to me what is happening and why you are allowing all this to happen, because it just makes no sense to me. And God if I am the problem, tell me what to do different so I can have what I want, deserve, am supposed to have. Because life is just not supposed to be this way.
Blech, yuck, gag, gag, spit!!!!!!!
So, let's see what the serenity prayer really says:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change"
God is defined as the one Supreme Being, the creator and ruler of the universe.
Grant is defined as to give or bestow.
Serenity is defined as the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil; sereneness.
Serene is defined as calm, peaceful, or tranquil; unruffled.
Accept is defined as to take or receive and also to undertake the responsibility.
Thing is defined as
1. a material object without life or consciousness.
Cannot is defined as
1. to NOT be able to; have the ability, power, or skill to.
Change is defined as to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.
I believe this is my prayer for this morning.
Namaste
I am (fast) approaching some very real changes in my life. And as time passes, as the sun sets and the sun rises each day, some of the changes have happened and I get closer and closer to more of the changes. I try really hard to remain present and enjoy each day, but if I am going to be completely honest, I am NOT accomplishing this very well. I am looking back and regretting and questioning and trying to sort "it" all out - and I am looking forward with some amount of fear and dread. What a lousy way to live each day of my life. And I KNOW this. I know it all the way down to the bottom of my heart, but I can't seem to let it all go. I am floundering.
So, because
"Change is the only constant."
And
"You know, by the time you reach my age, you have made plenty of mistakes if you've lived your life properly." ~Ronald Reagan.
Then it really all gets down to this, doesn't it?
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
As I have been writing this - which mean writing, reading, and then deleting and rewriting, I have realized that I am not living any part of the Serenity Prayer these days. In fact, this is the way I have been living my life lately:
God please change all the hearts of all the people that I am trying so desparately to change and can't, change all the things going on that I don't like and don't feel good, change my finances, my kids, my friends, and for heavens sake, fix my love life, and/or if that is not possible, please explain to me what is happening and why you are allowing all this to happen, because it just makes no sense to me. And God if I am the problem, tell me what to do different so I can have what I want, deserve, am supposed to have. Because life is just not supposed to be this way.
Blech, yuck, gag, gag, spit!!!!!!!
So, let's see what the serenity prayer really says:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change"
God is defined as the one Supreme Being, the creator and ruler of the universe.
Grant is defined as to give or bestow.
Serenity is defined as the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil; sereneness.
Serene is defined as calm, peaceful, or tranquil; unruffled.
Accept is defined as to take or receive and also to undertake the responsibility.
Thing is defined as
1. a material object without life or consciousness.
2. some entity, object, or creature that is not or cannot be specifically designated.
3. anything that is or may become an object of thought.
4. things, matters; affairs.
5. a fact, circumstance, or state of affairs.
6. an action, deed, event, or performance.
7. a particular, respect, or detail.
8. aim; objective.
Cannot is defined as
1. to NOT be able to; have the ability, power, or skill to.
2. to NOT know how to.
3. to NOT have the power or means to.
4. to NOT have the right or qualifications to.
5. may NOT; do NOT have permission to.
6. to NOT have the possibility.
Change is defined as to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.
So, this is what I have learned about the first step of the Serenity Prayer:
Creator of the universe,
give me the state of being calm, peaceful, and tranquil
to receive the material objects, entities, creatures, all objects of mine and others thought, all matters and affairs, actions, events, details, aims and objectives
which I do not have the ability, power or skill, don’t know how, don’t have the power or means, don't have the right or qualifications, don't have permission or even the possibility
to make the form, nature, content, future course of anything different from what it is or from what it would be.
I believe this is my prayer for this morning.
Namaste
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