I am face to face with a transition in my life. My children are both young adults and no longer living full time at my house. Yes, my house is still their home, but not their residence. And what does that make me? Herein lies the transition... for me.
Personal truth is not what everyone wants to hear somedays. Many want to hear their own truth. But, my personal truth is that it hurts, just a little more than a little to watch them grow and go.
You see, I prayed for the creation of these children for years before they ever came into my life - before they were conceived and grown within the depths of my body. These kids were a dream and hope and goal and vision of mine... and they came... each in their own time, on their own terms, with their own souls which brought characteristics of their heritage, but a whole lot of their individual personality - God's creation, mostly.... not mine.
And I cherished these children of mine during pregnancy. I ate right, I slept, I denied myself certain things, and when the growing babies within my womb wanted milk and I wanted dessert, we had ice cream... the two of us, together, on the couch.... while I stroked my growing tummy and whispered my prayers and my love and my hopes and dreams for them.
Growing a baby in your body is not easy work. It may be quite natural, but it is hard work. There is nausia and so-tired-I-might-just-lay-down-and-nap-right-here, thank you very much. They were little heaters, making me warmer than any heating pad could ever imagine. I had itchy skin and towards the end, feet pushing up on my lungs and sometimes jumping on my bladder, both at the same time.
I remember my stomach rocking and rolling enough that friends across the room could see those babies moving around without me having to tell them. Oh, how I prayed over those nine months for my body to keep hold of those babies. Each one - praying for them to stay and grow and come at just the right time. And they did. My body held on and then one day out they came into this world and one of the first things I got to do was hold them in my arms.
And hold on to them I did. I remember my son coming out of body with a little blue-ness as the doctor worked quickly to cut that cord from around his neck and the nurse talking nonstop that all would be OK... not to worry, not to fret, the doctor was taking care of my baby boy and yes, sure enough, a few suctions a few rough rubbing on him and he pinkened up and was so alive and well. I remember having to wait to hold him, but when I did, I hung on. I held him close and never, ever wanted to let go.
I remember the slipping and sliding as they laid my baby girl on my stomach, fresh out of my body. She was wet and slippery and I held on... laughing, joyful.... full of precious life, and all my dreams coming true. No breath holding for her, she breathed and cried and looked into my face with wonder and maybe even some recoginition... "Mom, oh there you are."
And there were so many memories. Birthday cakes, balloons, t-ball uniforms and coaches, Brownies with "cute" brown vests and patches, Kids Khoir, sunday school and preschool, first days of school, vacations, swimming pools, diapers, and potty chairs, car seats and sippy cups, photos and posing, blocks and play doh, dolls and balls, music, Barney, basketball and soccer, cheerleading and dance recitals, letter jackets and class rings, college applications, and scholarship generation, graduation gowns and announcements, dorm room shopping and packing the car. And all the while, holding on.... holding on.
And now the day has come to learn to let go, and it is hard and it is wonderful, but it is hard. For I didn't really dream about the letting go in quite the same joyful hopefulneses that I did with the holding on.
My dear, dear, dear children. My arms are always here for you. My heart is always beside yours. My hopes and dreams for you are firmly planted inside each of your memories, my prayers have been spoken as I held you, as I watched you sleep, as I waited for you to come home at night, and as I hugged you good-bye at the car before I drove away.
Live your lives. Chase your dreams. Enjoy the good times. Cry and feel the hard times knowing "this too shall pass". Embrace today. Plan for tomorrow. Love yourself. Remember God is with you no matter what. Expect miracles. Treat others with kindness and respect. Never, never, never give up. Remember that God is all about 2nd, 3rd, 4th and Nth chances and do-overs. And remember my love is never ending.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Older High Milage Cars
I bought a car with 80,000 miles on it 4 years ago for my son to drive. I believe, it is "used up". Yes, the motor runs "fine", the transmission seems "OK", the AC even pumps out cold air. But I can feel it in my gut - this car is about to cause a very large decision on someones part... namely me.
Yesterday, my son drove it into the driveway, turned the engine off, with the key, and then realized the rest of it would just not turn off. The radio was playing, the AC was blowing, and all the little red lights on the dashboard that indicate you have some sort of battery power still on were all lit up.
The key would turn in the ignition, but it was catching on nothing. In other words you can't turn it all the way on OR all the way off. The battery was engaged and there was no way to turn it off. I called the guys I know who know a little something about cars and their advice was to call someone else... a repair shop.
You know, I am just about ready to call the junk shop, head to the dealership, and make this problem go away for another few years. I don't know how to diagnose or repair, or really barely maintain a car, let alone an older high mileage car with more problems than what is reasonably fixable based on the low value of the car.
I think, what I learned as a child - and as an adult - is go to the dealership and fix this problem. I am not equipped to fix the issues this car has and is going to continue to have. There are times when I must wave the white flag and give up. Yes, I wanted this car to last another 2 years - but the expense and headache of that choice is looking invaluable and less and less valuable as some teaching tool of growing up and taking financial responsibility. There are no finances to pay for the repairs but my own, so who is learning what. Furthermore, if the car were mine to drive, I would have gotten rid of it a clutch and a radiator and a broken door handle repair ago (of which I paid to fix).
Sometimes, it is time to think for oneself - and ignore the whining of the world around you - and make a decision that works for me.
Yesterday, my son drove it into the driveway, turned the engine off, with the key, and then realized the rest of it would just not turn off. The radio was playing, the AC was blowing, and all the little red lights on the dashboard that indicate you have some sort of battery power still on were all lit up.
The key would turn in the ignition, but it was catching on nothing. In other words you can't turn it all the way on OR all the way off. The battery was engaged and there was no way to turn it off. I called the guys I know who know a little something about cars and their advice was to call someone else... a repair shop.
You know, I am just about ready to call the junk shop, head to the dealership, and make this problem go away for another few years. I don't know how to diagnose or repair, or really barely maintain a car, let alone an older high mileage car with more problems than what is reasonably fixable based on the low value of the car.
I think, what I learned as a child - and as an adult - is go to the dealership and fix this problem. I am not equipped to fix the issues this car has and is going to continue to have. There are times when I must wave the white flag and give up. Yes, I wanted this car to last another 2 years - but the expense and headache of that choice is looking invaluable and less and less valuable as some teaching tool of growing up and taking financial responsibility. There are no finances to pay for the repairs but my own, so who is learning what. Furthermore, if the car were mine to drive, I would have gotten rid of it a clutch and a radiator and a broken door handle repair ago (of which I paid to fix).
Sometimes, it is time to think for oneself - and ignore the whining of the world around you - and make a decision that works for me.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Imagination and Creating Something New
This morning, I sat outside while the sprinklers ran. The sky was slighly overcast and I imagined it was raining outside. The coffee tasted better and the air smelled sweeter. Imagination is good.
Why do so many of us leave our imaginations behind sometime after childhood? I problem solve and come up with creative solutions, but imagination? No, not really. I am literal and direct and unimaginative throughout most of my life. And lately, stressed. Blah!
Just because life isn't easy, is exactly why we should exercise our imagination fully.
I don't know about you, but listening to the news makes me want to stay home. Our world is dangerous with unspeakable things happening everyday not only in third world countries, but on our campuses, and at our bus stops, and in the very homes that should keep us all safe. Our political system and government is totally screwed up, and every side of the political system wants to point and blame. Possible solutions are thrown out, those who might be using their imagination for creative solution are dismissed due to political agenda or perhaps where money flows for reelection and other benefits. Everyone has a reason to not believe, not agree, and say NO. I am tired and sad watching smart people act so dumb.
If I were a pessimist I would say my church is falling apart, or worse...has fallen apart at the seams. Again a place where we should feel safe, is the very place where it feels stressful and even a little dark right now.Did you also know that Mahatma Gandhi said, "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Wow. That is something to really think and ponder on, and look inside to consider just what do we look like when we show up as followers of Christ, a simple man who knew God.
Perhaps using my imagination, I can create a better world... and just maybe... if I could re-create my own self, I would be a part of the new and better creation. For what shall rise up out of the dust, but not something new and better. That is our only answer - for each one of us to be the change we want to see in the world just like Mahatma Gandhi proclaimed years ago during his own distress with the world.
Namaste
Why do so many of us leave our imaginations behind sometime after childhood? I problem solve and come up with creative solutions, but imagination? No, not really. I am literal and direct and unimaginative throughout most of my life. And lately, stressed. Blah!
Just because life isn't easy, is exactly why we should exercise our imagination fully.
I don't know about you, but listening to the news makes me want to stay home. Our world is dangerous with unspeakable things happening everyday not only in third world countries, but on our campuses, and at our bus stops, and in the very homes that should keep us all safe. Our political system and government is totally screwed up, and every side of the political system wants to point and blame. Possible solutions are thrown out, those who might be using their imagination for creative solution are dismissed due to political agenda or perhaps where money flows for reelection and other benefits. Everyone has a reason to not believe, not agree, and say NO. I am tired and sad watching smart people act so dumb.
If I were a pessimist I would say my church is falling apart, or worse...has fallen apart at the seams. Again a place where we should feel safe, is the very place where it feels stressful and even a little dark right now.Did you also know that Mahatma Gandhi said, "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Wow. That is something to really think and ponder on, and look inside to consider just what do we look like when we show up as followers of Christ, a simple man who knew God.
Perhaps using my imagination, I can create a better world... and just maybe... if I could re-create my own self, I would be a part of the new and better creation. For what shall rise up out of the dust, but not something new and better. That is our only answer - for each one of us to be the change we want to see in the world just like Mahatma Gandhi proclaimed years ago during his own distress with the world.
Namaste
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Good Morning
When the alarm goes off, I am reluctant to awake. I continue to snooze and doze for 30 more minutes. Upon awakening fully, I am disappointed to see my quiet coffee time diminished due to staying in the bed too long. Oh to have more mornings without a schedule attached. Time to sleep, time to sit quietly holding my coffee cup, time to write, time to pet my cat...
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Girl to Girl Friendship
Nurture your friendships, ladies, with one another. When all comes tumbling down, or you just need someone to listen, remember she is almost always there - just a phone call away.
Make time and space for her.
Remember each other's birthdays.
Celebrate with her. Never rain on her parade.
Encourage her.
Embrace her gifts and talents.
Invite her places.
Receive all she has to give to you.
Hug her often.
Let her cry on your shoulder or across the room.
Tell her she's beautiful inside and out.
Love her children, her home, her good parts, her not-so-good parts.
Always try to be on her side.
Believe her.
Avoid telling her she is wrong. She might not be.
Tread carefully around her insecurities.
Practice healthy boundaries in her life.
Know her past loves are off limits.
Apologize when you know it's the right thing to do.
Give her room to make mistakes.
Forgive her seven times seventy, that means always.
Love her.
Let her love you.
Namaste.
Make time and space for her.
Remember each other's birthdays.
Celebrate with her. Never rain on her parade.
Encourage her.
Embrace her gifts and talents.
Invite her places.
Receive all she has to give to you.
Hug her often.
Let her cry on your shoulder or across the room.
Tell her she's beautiful inside and out.
Love her children, her home, her good parts, her not-so-good parts.
Always try to be on her side.
Believe her.
Avoid telling her she is wrong. She might not be.
Tread carefully around her insecurities.
Practice healthy boundaries in her life.
Know her past loves are off limits.
Apologize when you know it's the right thing to do.
Give her room to make mistakes.
Forgive her seven times seventy, that means always.
Love her.
Let her love you.
Namaste.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
The Monday After
Today is the new day. Jill is graduated from high school. And although she will be home much of the summer, and Grant is also home for the summer, a new day has dawned and I feel it. My plans for this day look exactly as I pictured. I am at Shanley park, sitting on Dave's blanket, writing on his iPad, listening to one of the park's water fountains and Joshua Radin on the iPhone with Dave laying beside me with his eyes closed looking pretty content and happy.
Don't know that I have anything more profound to say other than we all deserve to live out our dream at least part of the time. My Dad told me I had a right to my dreams too, and he was right. It seems to me that the first step is to create the dream, or I might say conjure up the magical intention, and the next steps are a heavy combination of belief and trying and starting again, and did I mention believing?
Don't know that I have anything more profound to say other than we all deserve to live out our dream at least part of the time. My Dad told me I had a right to my dreams too, and he was right. It seems to me that the first step is to create the dream, or I might say conjure up the magical intention, and the next steps are a heavy combination of belief and trying and starting again, and did I mention believing?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Endings and Beginnings
I am sitting in my favorite morning spot: my back porch, drinking a hot cup of coffee, dogs laying by my side, and the birds singing all around me. I am in this world that God created. I live day to day with the good and the bad, the perplexing and simple, the confusion and the ah-ha moments, with the beautiful and the ugly. I breathe, I stretch, I wonder, I let go, I accept, I love.
Today is so important as my beautiful 18 year old daughter is graduating from high school tomorrow night. Family and friends are gathering, preparations have been made: signs painted for the highway, photos lined up to sum up a beautiful life to music, cakes ordered, dinner reservations made, groceries bought, lawn mowed, house cleaned, and nail appointments at the ready. 2 nice dresses for her and the perfect pair of shoes to match her gown. What would I stress about? I have everything to be grateful for. Airport run this afternoon to pick up one grandma and one grandpa who travel the USA to be at grandchildren's graduations. I am blessed. We are loved.
Last night I received a bittersweet gift: A call from a man who I had once loved. I did not answer but let him leave his message. He is moving this weekend to the west coast. I do not find it at all a coincidence that it was just 9 months ago when he told me he wanted to move when Jill graduated from high school. The same amount of time to create a brand new life within myself, nine months, and so it is. I bless him and release him to his life, his journey and new love and light. Let not your heart be troubled, but in all things, rejoice. I celebrate what was and what is.
As for me: I have met a man who is suited for me and is present in my life in the present. I need not look back, for I have today and hopefully tomorrow with him. He is kind, gentle, fun, sweet, and handsome. He makes me smile more times in the day than ever before, and he is here for me when ever I need him. Love is always around us. Will we reach out and receive the love God radiates into his creation. As for me, I am open and ready and willing and grateful for another opportunity. I never, ever want to forget that God is in the business of restoration and new beginnings. He heals, He comforts, and He redeems each and everyone of us everyday.
Jill, I wish you joy and peace and fun and strength and courage and intelligence and wisdom and love. Always accept and receive love and all second and third and fourth chances at all that God will create in your future. Look forward and use your past as a learning experience for your future. Remember the this one small truth: Love is always the answer to every question.
And we continue on in the forwardly direction with hope and faith and love. Good morning and I mean to say that it is a GOOD MORNING, a new day, and God is ever present in it all.
Namaste
Today is so important as my beautiful 18 year old daughter is graduating from high school tomorrow night. Family and friends are gathering, preparations have been made: signs painted for the highway, photos lined up to sum up a beautiful life to music, cakes ordered, dinner reservations made, groceries bought, lawn mowed, house cleaned, and nail appointments at the ready. 2 nice dresses for her and the perfect pair of shoes to match her gown. What would I stress about? I have everything to be grateful for. Airport run this afternoon to pick up one grandma and one grandpa who travel the USA to be at grandchildren's graduations. I am blessed. We are loved.
Last night I received a bittersweet gift: A call from a man who I had once loved. I did not answer but let him leave his message. He is moving this weekend to the west coast. I do not find it at all a coincidence that it was just 9 months ago when he told me he wanted to move when Jill graduated from high school. The same amount of time to create a brand new life within myself, nine months, and so it is. I bless him and release him to his life, his journey and new love and light. Let not your heart be troubled, but in all things, rejoice. I celebrate what was and what is.
As for me: I have met a man who is suited for me and is present in my life in the present. I need not look back, for I have today and hopefully tomorrow with him. He is kind, gentle, fun, sweet, and handsome. He makes me smile more times in the day than ever before, and he is here for me when ever I need him. Love is always around us. Will we reach out and receive the love God radiates into his creation. As for me, I am open and ready and willing and grateful for another opportunity. I never, ever want to forget that God is in the business of restoration and new beginnings. He heals, He comforts, and He redeems each and everyone of us everyday.
Jill, I wish you joy and peace and fun and strength and courage and intelligence and wisdom and love. Always accept and receive love and all second and third and fourth chances at all that God will create in your future. Look forward and use your past as a learning experience for your future. Remember the this one small truth: Love is always the answer to every question.
And we continue on in the forwardly direction with hope and faith and love. Good morning and I mean to say that it is a GOOD MORNING, a new day, and God is ever present in it all.
Namaste
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Amazing and Magnificent
My dark chocolate Dove wrapper at lunch today read, "Keep the promises you make to yourself."
Oh my, that is so appropriate for me these days.
I made a promise to myself that I would write more, spend more time alone in solitude, create more, and do what makes my heart sing - which might just be what I am purposed to do, or at least that is part of the search and adventure and journey. I promised five mock ups of a creative idea, I found in my conscious mind rolling around, singing a song.
Sadly, however, I seem to put "my life" off. It is still somewhere "out there". I am again in survival mode, doing that which must get done now, and "my life" is going to start after I get "all this" done.
I am going to name this behavior, for it is a part of my action. And it is bigger than just doing graduation tasks or home chores. This is about avoiding stretching and growing "my life".
I shall name it Purpose Avoidance.
How's that.
What might cause me to avoid MY purpose?
Might it be fear, apathy, or sheer laziness?
Might it be bad habits?
Might it be disbelief in myself...... in the Power far greater than me..... disbelief in God?
I have been told that I am amazing. I have been told I am magnificent and I like hearing that, but do I believe it?
Sadly, I think I am someone with "a little something" to share, that may or may not be important or valuable to someone else, ...but I think it might matter to one or two..... or more.
Oh my! That sounds a great deal like disbelief.... in me. In who God created me to be.
OK - I am not claiming Purpose Avoidance. I have named it, but I do not claim it.
Instead, I claim AMAZING and MAGNIFICENT.
Namaste
Oh my, that is so appropriate for me these days.
I made a promise to myself that I would write more, spend more time alone in solitude, create more, and do what makes my heart sing - which might just be what I am purposed to do, or at least that is part of the search and adventure and journey. I promised five mock ups of a creative idea, I found in my conscious mind rolling around, singing a song.
Sadly, however, I seem to put "my life" off. It is still somewhere "out there". I am again in survival mode, doing that which must get done now, and "my life" is going to start after I get "all this" done.
I am going to name this behavior, for it is a part of my action. And it is bigger than just doing graduation tasks or home chores. This is about avoiding stretching and growing "my life".
I shall name it Purpose Avoidance.
How's that.
What might cause me to avoid MY purpose?
Might it be fear, apathy, or sheer laziness?
Might it be bad habits?
Might it be disbelief in myself...... in the Power far greater than me..... disbelief in God?
I have been told that I am amazing. I have been told I am magnificent and I like hearing that, but do I believe it?
Sadly, I think I am someone with "a little something" to share, that may or may not be important or valuable to someone else, ...but I think it might matter to one or two..... or more.
Oh my! That sounds a great deal like disbelief.... in me. In who God created me to be.
OK - I am not claiming Purpose Avoidance. I have named it, but I do not claim it.
Instead, I claim AMAZING and MAGNIFICENT.
Namaste
Sunday, April 24, 2011
New Beginnings, Part II
God is the author
the creator
of 2nd, 3rd, 4th...
chances and
new beginnings
Easter reminds me
of the butterfly
bursting
from her cocoon
transformed
for a seemingly new purpose
but knowing
it was her purpose
all along
Love never dies
No one can take
our hearts or steal
Love away
Our Love
comes from Him
We tap into Love
soak Love in
radiate Love out
freely
willingly
wholely
and sacrificially
give Love away
knowing
there will always be
enough
I am transformed
and still transforming
forever and ever
loving deeply
completely
sacrificially
Knowing
there will always be
enough
~Judy Lynn Young
Easter, April 24, 2011
the creator
of 2nd, 3rd, 4th...
chances and
new beginnings
Easter reminds me
of the butterfly
bursting
from her cocoon
transformed
for a seemingly new purpose
but knowing
it was her purpose
all along
Love never dies
No one can take
our hearts or steal
Love away
Our Love
comes from Him
We tap into Love
soak Love in
radiate Love out
freely
willingly
wholely
and sacrificially
give Love away
knowing
there will always be
enough
I am transformed
and still transforming
forever and ever
loving deeply
completely
sacrificially
Knowing
there will always be
enough
~Judy Lynn Young
Easter, April 24, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
A thought to share
From "Certain Girls" by Jennifer Weiner.
" Do we reschedule?" she was asking. I'd stood in the kitchen door, holding my breath. I knew what the rabbi would tell her, which was that of Jewish tradition, you don't cancel a simcha because of a tragedy. Not a wedding, not a bris or baby naming, not s bar or bat mitzvah. You don't cancel, because in the midst of life we are in death, and we find joy in the middle of sorrow.
" Do we reschedule?" she was asking. I'd stood in the kitchen door, holding my breath. I knew what the rabbi would tell her, which was that of Jewish tradition, you don't cancel a simcha because of a tragedy. Not a wedding, not a bris or baby naming, not s bar or bat mitzvah. You don't cancel, because in the midst of life we are in death, and we find joy in the middle of sorrow.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Chosen Loss
Every time.
Every single time.
When I miss him?
I remember
he chose
not to stay.
And something in me
hurts
a little differently
then if I had lost
him to death.
I am glad
he is
alive and well
but the sadness
would be sweeter
had he stayed.
Broken relationship,
although loss,
feels almost,
almost like I
don't deserve
...the grief.
The very real
grief.
All because
he chose it.
Every single time.
When I miss him?
I remember
he chose
not to stay.
And something in me
hurts
a little differently
then if I had lost
him to death.
I am glad
he is
alive and well
but the sadness
would be sweeter
had he stayed.
Broken relationship,
although loss,
feels almost,
almost like I
don't deserve
...the grief.
The very real
grief.
All because
he chose it.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Spring
Time to plant
pink, purple, white
flowers
adding
more
life color.
How I live
today,
affects my future
choices.
And thus,
the way I lived
in the past
is affecting
my current choices.
I want
to be mindful
of how I show up
for life,
each
and every moment,
of each
and every day.
I matter.
What I do
with my time
here on this earth
at this moment
on this day
matters
to tomorrows
if even in a little
itty-bitty way.
pink, purple, white
flowers
adding
more
life color.
How I live
today,
affects my future
choices.
And thus,
the way I lived
in the past
is affecting
my current choices.
I want
to be mindful
of how I show up
for life,
each
and every moment,
of each
and every day.
I matter.
What I do
with my time
here on this earth
at this moment
on this day
matters
to tomorrows
if even in a little
itty-bitty way.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Lily
Friday's untimely Lily picking
appeared to create
untimely death.
A bud purposed
for glorious flower
torn at the stem
and carried away
from her natural home.Lily's life
stopped short
shut down
left in the dark
atop the cluttered desk
of a cluttered life
for far too long.
Monday's sunrise
and sad discovery
of such careless
flower tending
caused me to carry Lily
lovingly home,
cut her stem,
and sink
her deep in water,
nutrition for Lily's soul.
Death seemed eminent
dry and brittle
did her bud appear.
But, Friday came
one week later.
Lily's nature unearthed.
Bud stretched towards
light and sun
achingly
arching
towards life
and purpose.
Half awake
yet still
reaching
towards life
and purpose.
Lily's life and purpose.
~Judy Morrill Young 4/2/11
Namaste
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Small Lent Offering
I gave up Facebook for a week of Lent. I know, I know, Lent is 40 days, but although I am not a beginner at observing Lent, I am a baby novice at giving up things for Lent. A few years ago, I tried it: I gave up beer and made it about 3 weeks before throwing in the towel one Saturday night while having dinner with my friend who just happens to be a minister. That was a few years ago and made me think that since I wasn't Catholic and I come from "up North", I didn't really need to observe Lent in this way... anyway.
So, Sunday I decided to give it a try for one week. Whew! This has been hard. I spend quite a lot of minutes a day checking in on Facebook by reading posts, updating my status and most recently checking myself in when I go for out for fun and then tagging friends who are with me as well as taking a picture to add to the collage.
Does anyone care what my status is or where I am at the moment. The answer is yes. I know they care because they read it and mention it. And I know, because I care about my Facebook friends status and where they are.
Anyway, I have given it up and it's been hard and that's the way it's supposed to be, right? So, when I want to go on Facebook, I am to think Godly thoughts, and perhaps reflect on all that Christ suffered while hanging on that cross.
I'll be honest with you. I don't like pondering, thinking about, or reflecting on the cross experience. It makes me highly uncomfortable and anxious (and angry). It is beyond my imagination how any one person, let alone a group of religious leaders, could commit such an evil and horrendous act to any human being regardless of what they believed about him. And to think that God somehow did this on purpose is again, beyond my thinking. I can, however, believe that God works in even the most difficult, uncomfortable, anxious, scary, and sad times. For I believe, He is the Great Comforter, and I have experienced Him personally in this capacity.
This week I have needed that comfort and to know that He is working in all the situations of my current life situation, as well as my sisters', my parents', my friends', and other countries' current life situations. There are troubling things happening everywhere and some of those things are happening in my very heart.
I am on a quest for transformation, but it is hard work, for going back to what is familar whether it worked in the past or not, is the easy way... Falling back on old ideas, old habits, old ways of doing things is easy to do even if I have decided to go a new way. And going the new way is on purpose... for purpose... to become who I was born to be... to give to the world the gifts I was purposed to give. And to do that, it seems that clutter has got to be kept to a mimimum. My fear? that I don't know the difference between clutter and treasure. And because of that, I trust that God will help me know the difference. When am I leaning into something or someone that is keeping me from my purpose and when am I running from something or someone that is part of my purpose. God, help me know the difference, and I trust you do and always have; I only need to learn to listen and then trust with my whole heart as I take my picture off another wall.
So, while I stay away from posting my status on Facebook or reading everyone else's status's, and while I don't see who is friending who and who is "in a relationship" and where everyone is eating dinner, I reflect on how much God is at work in the world and I ask what can I do to help?
What happens now?
Namaste
So, Sunday I decided to give it a try for one week. Whew! This has been hard. I spend quite a lot of minutes a day checking in on Facebook by reading posts, updating my status and most recently checking myself in when I go for out for fun and then tagging friends who are with me as well as taking a picture to add to the collage.
Does anyone care what my status is or where I am at the moment. The answer is yes. I know they care because they read it and mention it. And I know, because I care about my Facebook friends status and where they are.
Anyway, I have given it up and it's been hard and that's the way it's supposed to be, right? So, when I want to go on Facebook, I am to think Godly thoughts, and perhaps reflect on all that Christ suffered while hanging on that cross.
I'll be honest with you. I don't like pondering, thinking about, or reflecting on the cross experience. It makes me highly uncomfortable and anxious (and angry). It is beyond my imagination how any one person, let alone a group of religious leaders, could commit such an evil and horrendous act to any human being regardless of what they believed about him. And to think that God somehow did this on purpose is again, beyond my thinking. I can, however, believe that God works in even the most difficult, uncomfortable, anxious, scary, and sad times. For I believe, He is the Great Comforter, and I have experienced Him personally in this capacity.
This week I have needed that comfort and to know that He is working in all the situations of my current life situation, as well as my sisters', my parents', my friends', and other countries' current life situations. There are troubling things happening everywhere and some of those things are happening in my very heart.
I am on a quest for transformation, but it is hard work, for going back to what is familar whether it worked in the past or not, is the easy way... Falling back on old ideas, old habits, old ways of doing things is easy to do even if I have decided to go a new way. And going the new way is on purpose... for purpose... to become who I was born to be... to give to the world the gifts I was purposed to give. And to do that, it seems that clutter has got to be kept to a mimimum. My fear? that I don't know the difference between clutter and treasure. And because of that, I trust that God will help me know the difference. When am I leaning into something or someone that is keeping me from my purpose and when am I running from something or someone that is part of my purpose. God, help me know the difference, and I trust you do and always have; I only need to learn to listen and then trust with my whole heart as I take my picture off another wall.
So, while I stay away from posting my status on Facebook or reading everyone else's status's, and while I don't see who is friending who and who is "in a relationship" and where everyone is eating dinner, I reflect on how much God is at work in the world and I ask what can I do to help?
What happens now?
Namaste
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Love Just Is
Love doesn't always sing joyfully.
Sometimes, love cries
and holds
and gasps for breath.
Because sometimes,
those we love
leave our world
continuing on
to their next destination
without us.
The part they leave behind
is the love,
for love
never dies
It just is.
I have seen pain
in the eyes of the bereaved
I have felt pain
in the arms of their grief
I have held on tight
praying for the love,
the love,
the love,
to rain down from above
swirl from around
burst up from below
swallowing us up
for a moment of sweet relief.
And if nothing else
that maybe
just maybe
we find each other
matter.
For, of course,
we do,
we always did.
For love knows no time
no boundary
no reason
for being present
now.
~Judy Morrill Young
3/20/2011
First Day of Spring
Namaste
Sometimes, love cries
and holds
and gasps for breath.
Because sometimes,
those we love
leave our world
continuing on
to their next destination
without us.
The part they leave behind
is the love,
for love
never dies
It just is.
I have seen pain
in the eyes of the bereaved
I have felt pain
in the arms of their grief
I have held on tight
praying for the love,
the love,
the love,
to rain down from above
swirl from around
burst up from below
swallowing us up
for a moment of sweet relief.
And if nothing else
that maybe
just maybe
we find each other
matter.
For, of course,
we do,
we always did.
For love knows no time
no boundary
no reason
for being present
now.
~Judy Morrill Young
3/20/2011
First Day of Spring
Namaste
Friday, March 18, 2011
Sarah Kay: If I should have a daughter ... | Video on TED.com
Sarah Kay: If I should have a daughter ... Video on TED.com
I will blog tonight or tomorrow, but for now, take the 18 minutes and listen to Sarah. Wow!
I will blog tonight or tomorrow, but for now, take the 18 minutes and listen to Sarah. Wow!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
10 Minute Break
Somedays when "it" feels all knotted up inside, I just have to stop what I am doing, breathe, stretch... while smiling.... the smile is very important.... and then remember again to stop. Stop thinking, stop worrying, stop problem solving, stop wondering what if, stop wishing if only.... just stop, smile, breathe and stretch!
And when that is over and "it" feels a little bit better, I remind myself to write.
Writing is the place where I can be myself without hearing anyone else. :-)
And it is a place where I realize just how much is going on inside my head and heart and soul. It is too busy in there.
Aw, the simple life. Would I have it, if someone handed it to me with a big red bow on it, or would I instead opt for this crazy, fast-paced, crowded schedule where it is hard to fit in that which I love the most? For perhaps the truth is that I do love busy-ness ----- or perhaps it is just such a habit that I am awkward and uncomfortable within my own serenity.
For these 10 minutes, I am alone at my keyboard with soft bell ringing music coming from my i-phone and the office desktop sitting on hold for just these 10 minutes. 10 minutes of being with myself and the God who created this me who is wound up just a bit too tight today.
Some of what is going on in the world is sad and scary. Some of what is going on in the world is the most beautiful. I prefer to concentrate on the beautiful, but the destruction weighs heavy on my heart.
My troubles seem small and trivial. My house still stands. My air is still clean enough to go outside, and the ocean is not at my feet in a place where it does not belong.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Peace come to me no matter what is going on around me.
I love you. Thank you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. I am sorry. Please forgive me........ and on, and on, and on....... peace, perfect peace.
Namaste
And when that is over and "it" feels a little bit better, I remind myself to write.
Writing is the place where I can be myself without hearing anyone else. :-)
And it is a place where I realize just how much is going on inside my head and heart and soul. It is too busy in there.
Aw, the simple life. Would I have it, if someone handed it to me with a big red bow on it, or would I instead opt for this crazy, fast-paced, crowded schedule where it is hard to fit in that which I love the most? For perhaps the truth is that I do love busy-ness ----- or perhaps it is just such a habit that I am awkward and uncomfortable within my own serenity.
For these 10 minutes, I am alone at my keyboard with soft bell ringing music coming from my i-phone and the office desktop sitting on hold for just these 10 minutes. 10 minutes of being with myself and the God who created this me who is wound up just a bit too tight today.
Some of what is going on in the world is sad and scary. Some of what is going on in the world is the most beautiful. I prefer to concentrate on the beautiful, but the destruction weighs heavy on my heart.
My troubles seem small and trivial. My house still stands. My air is still clean enough to go outside, and the ocean is not at my feet in a place where it does not belong.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Peace come to me no matter what is going on around me.
I love you. Thank you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. I am sorry. Please forgive me........ and on, and on, and on....... peace, perfect peace.
Namaste
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Wednesday Love
Wednesday, while waiting
on a green left arrow
White tall pickup
In the straight-through lane
to my right
Handsome man on a cell phone
beginning a wave.
Wondering
was it just a gesture
While on the phone?
His animated smiling face
seemingly
for the one
on the other end of the line.
His window
rolled down
his waving arm
Coming out
the window; and
His face lit up.
And it dawned on me.
His wave;
His phone call;
Were both for her.
She was here
crossing
in her car
in the intersection.
His hand
went back into his truck
His hand
brought up to his lips
and he kissed
the inside of
His hand
pressed it to the windshield
As his head turned
His lips gently smiled
watching her go by.
I never saw her
But I saw her Loved
Wednesday.
~Judy Young 3/2/11
Namaste,
Judy
on a green left arrow
White tall pickup
In the straight-through lane
to my right
Handsome man on a cell phone
beginning a wave.
Wondering
was it just a gesture
While on the phone?
His animated smiling face
seemingly
for the one
on the other end of the line.
His window
rolled down
his waving arm
Coming out
the window; and
His face lit up.
And it dawned on me.
His wave;
His phone call;
Were both for her.
She was here
crossing
in her car
in the intersection.
His hand
went back into his truck
His hand
brought up to his lips
and he kissed
the inside of
His hand
pressed it to the windshield
As his head turned
His lips gently smiled
watching her go by.
I never saw her
But I saw her Loved
Wednesday.
~Judy Young 3/2/11
Namaste,
Judy
Friday, March 4, 2011
Today's Blessing
I received an email today from someone whom I have never met, but has shared a similar heartbreak. She spoke of a bond that we shared.
I thanked her for taking the time and energy to reach out to me. What a gift not only from her, but I suspect there was a divine intervention working within all of this.
I believe that love is what God is made of, and I found her letter to be filled with love and nothing else. Thank you!
I told her I was getting better and stronger. I hoped she could see that as she read through my string of blogs. I was touched that she had read them. My writing is my outlet, but it is also a way for me to reach people's hearts: namely women's hearts. I loved that she has read them.
I told her that recovering from a very broken heart is not easy, and I know, as did she, that it doesn't get easier when it happens a 2nd or 3rd time..... or more. I think it actually can get harder as it brings up all the past heartaches and can multiply the pain.
There are life lessons learned even in heartache, and I have learned some valuable things to carry forward with me into my future.
First I have learned that Love is always the answer to every question. Love does not always feel good, but I must love even though... And part of love is letting go and letting it be and loving what is, even when it hurts... love.
Secondly, I have learned that trust must be with God, that no matter what happens, I will be OK, and so will my world. I am loved beyond measure by God, and I am completely surrounded by His goodness no matter what is going on around me.
I thanked her for taking the time and energy to reach out to me. What a gift not only from her, but I suspect there was a divine intervention working within all of this.
I believe that love is what God is made of, and I found her letter to be filled with love and nothing else. Thank you!
I told her I was getting better and stronger. I hoped she could see that as she read through my string of blogs. I was touched that she had read them. My writing is my outlet, but it is also a way for me to reach people's hearts: namely women's hearts. I loved that she has read them.
I told her that recovering from a very broken heart is not easy, and I know, as did she, that it doesn't get easier when it happens a 2nd or 3rd time..... or more. I think it actually can get harder as it brings up all the past heartaches and can multiply the pain.
There are life lessons learned even in heartache, and I have learned some valuable things to carry forward with me into my future.
First I have learned that Love is always the answer to every question. Love does not always feel good, but I must love even though... And part of love is letting go and letting it be and loving what is, even when it hurts... love.
Secondly, I have learned that trust must be with God, that no matter what happens, I will be OK, and so will my world. I am loved beyond measure by God, and I am completely surrounded by His goodness no matter what is going on around me.
Thirdly, I have learned that I am capable of loving deeply and completely. And I can again.
I do believe that her email was a blessing in my life today.
I thanked her for sending it. It was a very loving thing for her to do. I am grateful.
This woman encouraged me today. And I believe through her, God encouraged me too.
She ended her letter to me with, "God is good." I agree completely with her.
I am grateful.
Namaste,
Judy
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Receiving
Just now,
I hear
God's voice
within
and
Angels singing
all around.
The message
...love.
The words
... sound
very
simply like,
"receive
love,
today,
sweet
girl"
I hear
God's voice
within
and
Angels singing
all around.
The message
...love.
The words
... sound
very
simply like,
"receive
love,
today,
sweet
girl"
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Love and Forgiveness
"Forgiveness is really hard for me." ~Judy Young
"Forgiveness must be a lifestyle." ~Joyce Meyer
"It's our thinking, not our circumstances, that determines how we feel." ~Richard Carlson
"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” ~Robert Muller
"...perhaps the real expectation needs to be nothing. The highest form of love, perhaps, expects nothing, needs nothing, in return." ~Judy Young
"Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. Love never dies." ~1st Corinthians 13
I started this blog a few months ago and could not find anything more to say after all the quotes, so it has set in edit mode for weeks. Not surprising. The unfinished blog represents my emotional state over the same block of time. Stuck somewhere between love and forgiveness.
The problem? I didn't know how to make sense of love and forgiveness residing in the same place - for the same person - at the same time. Within my mind, I could not align the two action verbs. If I was having to let go and forgive, was the love ever real.... ever? My heart believes that real love is without end. Perhaps, I clung to unforgiveness to keep the love real... for me. Intellectually, that may not make much sense, but matters of the heart are far, far, far from intellectual.
While I may have clung to the love, I practiced the art of forgiveness over and over and one day, forgiveness felt real. I believe, I have forgiven not just with my intellect, but somewhere deep inside my soul, I let go and allowed forgiveness to reside in peace and harmony beside love... all connected and intertwined.
Combining love and forgiveness in the same mixing bowl is the recipe for life. In both there is a holding on and a letting go which, I have come to believe, is the natural course of energy in my life. There is an ebb and flow in my relationships with others as I travel the road of life together... or apart from others.
Namaste
"Forgiveness must be a lifestyle." ~Joyce Meyer
"It's our thinking, not our circumstances, that determines how we feel." ~Richard Carlson
"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” ~Robert Muller
"...perhaps the real expectation needs to be nothing. The highest form of love, perhaps, expects nothing, needs nothing, in return." ~Judy Young
"Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. Love never dies." ~1st Corinthians 13
I started this blog a few months ago and could not find anything more to say after all the quotes, so it has set in edit mode for weeks. Not surprising. The unfinished blog represents my emotional state over the same block of time. Stuck somewhere between love and forgiveness.
The problem? I didn't know how to make sense of love and forgiveness residing in the same place - for the same person - at the same time. Within my mind, I could not align the two action verbs. If I was having to let go and forgive, was the love ever real.... ever? My heart believes that real love is without end. Perhaps, I clung to unforgiveness to keep the love real... for me. Intellectually, that may not make much sense, but matters of the heart are far, far, far from intellectual.
While I may have clung to the love, I practiced the art of forgiveness over and over and one day, forgiveness felt real. I believe, I have forgiven not just with my intellect, but somewhere deep inside my soul, I let go and allowed forgiveness to reside in peace and harmony beside love... all connected and intertwined.
Combining love and forgiveness in the same mixing bowl is the recipe for life. In both there is a holding on and a letting go which, I have come to believe, is the natural course of energy in my life. There is an ebb and flow in my relationships with others as I travel the road of life together... or apart from others.
Namaste
Friday, February 18, 2011
The Art of Being
With the Holy Spirit within me, Angels surrounding me, and God on His Throne, what is there for me to fear? If control is surrendered, then am I not free to live and be?
I am opening myself up for God to work His Divine Purpose for my life through me. I am surrendering my own plans - for His - to see where God's path is taking me regardless of the world spinning all around me.
And as the world turns (soap opera, remember?) and spins all around me, I am breathing and standing still, firm in my foundational beliefs that are good and kind and loving and compassionate and true and right and honoring and forgiving and peaceful......
And I toss out greed and selfishness and resentment and envy and lack and unforgiveness and strife and control and fear..... I toss them out into the wind and watch them blow ever so gently away from me and my path. The sun glistens off each one as they swirl and dip and rise and swirl far, far, away from me and my path.
The sun shines through the break in the clouds, down through all the trees of the forest, and places a bright, clear light upon my path, and unencumbered, I walk on no longer searching, but rather, just being, the me I was born to be, full of anticipation of God working in my life.
Namaste
I am opening myself up for God to work His Divine Purpose for my life through me. I am surrendering my own plans - for His - to see where God's path is taking me regardless of the world spinning all around me.
And as the world turns (soap opera, remember?) and spins all around me, I am breathing and standing still, firm in my foundational beliefs that are good and kind and loving and compassionate and true and right and honoring and forgiving and peaceful......
And I toss out greed and selfishness and resentment and envy and lack and unforgiveness and strife and control and fear..... I toss them out into the wind and watch them blow ever so gently away from me and my path. The sun glistens off each one as they swirl and dip and rise and swirl far, far, away from me and my path.
The sun shines through the break in the clouds, down through all the trees of the forest, and places a bright, clear light upon my path, and unencumbered, I walk on no longer searching, but rather, just being, the me I was born to be, full of anticipation of God working in my life.
Namaste
Saturday, February 12, 2011
God and Angels
I am so thankful that I am alive.
I believe that God is full of joy and hope and love.
And
I believe that God cries with us when it hurts.
May today bring a special gift to each of us in the knowing that God and His angels are ever present around us and that what they do best is love us right where we are.
May We Receive and Accept His Gift.
Namaste
I believe that God is full of joy and hope and love.
And
I believe that God cries with us when it hurts.
May today bring a special gift to each of us in the knowing that God and His angels are ever present around us and that what they do best is love us right where we are.
May We Receive and Accept His Gift.
Namaste
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
At the Moment
My VPN is not working this morning, so I am "stuck" blogging. Such a tough morning.
Thought I would just write whatever comes to mind at the moment.
1. I haven't been feeling good. I came home from the cruise with a sinus infection and a bobbing along in the water sensation. Needless to say, that is not a great way to live. Yesterday, I went to the doctor for the 3rd time and she is stumped - sending me to the ENT tomorrow. Lord, heal me with or without these doctors. I am ready to feel good again.
2. The bachelor last night made me want to throw my boots at the screen. Why I love this show along with a large segment of America is rather mind boggling. The women are crying all the time and the guy spends so much time trying to get them to connect with him, that I think he forgets to see who he might really like. From watching, I think this is how to get this guy to connect to you: enjoy doing things that create fear before and during, cry about anything to him, tell him your saddest story about your past, and come on a bit strong. This is what NOT to do or he will send you packing: small talk over dinner - he's apparantly, not a fan. Not dating in college because you didn't meet anyone special - he thinks you are incapable of love. Loved someone deeply and well - he thinks he can't compete with that. I think that the women who are crying as they head away in the cars are better off.
3. My horoscope for today says: "An unexpected letter or call could totally turn your working situation in a new direction. This can be disconcerting, Sagittarius, but it's a very positive and fortunate development. Relations with colleagues should involve new respect and enthusiasm. By the end of the day, you will likely feel very good about the way your life is going. Don't expect it to be the same as it was this morning!" this seems sort of specific. All Sagitarius folks are going to get an unexpected call or letter today concerning our work? Amazing. and first we will feel disconcerted and then move to feeling good abut the way our lives are going by day's end. Really amazing. All fellow Sagitarians: let's check in tomorrow and report back all these exciting stories. I am ready for such letter or call. Bring it on!
4. Last night in my bed, I stilled myself by thinking of myself as a caterpillar in my cocoon realizing that change was happening and that the twitching and pain and unrest might be how the caterpillar feels as she spins her cocoon around herself. Nature dictates it is time for her to wrap herself up and allow herself to die as a caterpillar, to awaken later as a butterfly. Does she even know why she is wrapping, wrapping herself into her cocoon. Does she feel some fear, some trepidation? Does she want to stop, and yet nature urges her on. Does she have any idea who she is going to become as she wraps herself up and feels the anxiety of change. Does she know that she is headed for something new and better: no longer enslaved to climb the tree, but can fly about with a new found freedom?
Thought I would just write whatever comes to mind at the moment.
1. I haven't been feeling good. I came home from the cruise with a sinus infection and a bobbing along in the water sensation. Needless to say, that is not a great way to live. Yesterday, I went to the doctor for the 3rd time and she is stumped - sending me to the ENT tomorrow. Lord, heal me with or without these doctors. I am ready to feel good again.
2. The bachelor last night made me want to throw my boots at the screen. Why I love this show along with a large segment of America is rather mind boggling. The women are crying all the time and the guy spends so much time trying to get them to connect with him, that I think he forgets to see who he might really like. From watching, I think this is how to get this guy to connect to you: enjoy doing things that create fear before and during, cry about anything to him, tell him your saddest story about your past, and come on a bit strong. This is what NOT to do or he will send you packing: small talk over dinner - he's apparantly, not a fan. Not dating in college because you didn't meet anyone special - he thinks you are incapable of love. Loved someone deeply and well - he thinks he can't compete with that. I think that the women who are crying as they head away in the cars are better off.
3. My horoscope for today says: "An unexpected letter or call could totally turn your working situation in a new direction. This can be disconcerting, Sagittarius, but it's a very positive and fortunate development. Relations with colleagues should involve new respect and enthusiasm. By the end of the day, you will likely feel very good about the way your life is going. Don't expect it to be the same as it was this morning!" this seems sort of specific. All Sagitarius folks are going to get an unexpected call or letter today concerning our work? Amazing. and first we will feel disconcerted and then move to feeling good abut the way our lives are going by day's end. Really amazing. All fellow Sagitarians: let's check in tomorrow and report back all these exciting stories. I am ready for such letter or call. Bring it on!
4. Last night in my bed, I stilled myself by thinking of myself as a caterpillar in my cocoon realizing that change was happening and that the twitching and pain and unrest might be how the caterpillar feels as she spins her cocoon around herself. Nature dictates it is time for her to wrap herself up and allow herself to die as a caterpillar, to awaken later as a butterfly. Does she even know why she is wrapping, wrapping herself into her cocoon. Does she feel some fear, some trepidation? Does she want to stop, and yet nature urges her on. Does she have any idea who she is going to become as she wraps herself up and feels the anxiety of change. Does she know that she is headed for something new and better: no longer enslaved to climb the tree, but can fly about with a new found freedom?
And so it is. Namaste
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Live Well Now
I was talking to my friend by text yesterday and she said, "I am trying to accept the facts of my life are all due to my own choices. Some of them I knew better or should have... others I did not."
I responded, "And so the choices we are making today will effect us years from now. So live well now."
What does live well now mean? My list:
Live well now:
1. Forgive those who changed our lives for the worst.
2. Thank those who changed out lives for the better.
3. Apologize to those we hurt intentionally or unintentionally.
4. Forgive ourselves for imperfection.
5. Eat healthly.
6. Stretch and breathe.
7. Walk, bike or run.
8. Smile at others.
9. Be still and know God is surely present.
10. Love deeply and completely.
11. Fear not.
Namaste
I responded, "And so the choices we are making today will effect us years from now. So live well now."
What does live well now mean? My list:
Live well now:
1. Forgive those who changed our lives for the worst.
2. Thank those who changed out lives for the better.
3. Apologize to those we hurt intentionally or unintentionally.
4. Forgive ourselves for imperfection.
5. Eat healthly.
6. Stretch and breathe.
7. Walk, bike or run.
8. Smile at others.
9. Be still and know God is surely present.
10. Love deeply and completely.
11. Fear not.
Namaste
Friday, January 28, 2011
Looking for Myself
Some people just have a knack, an inner strength, for thriving during surviving a disaster. I don't know where it comes from, that ability to get up and get on with life. They seem able to put things in perspective, find joy in their lives, in the world as it has changed around them.
I read yesterday on the Compassionate Friends Facebook site that losing a child changes you forever and when well-meaning people want you to get back to your old self, that the comments were all in agreement: you are never your old self again and you have to find your new normal.
How many other tragedies leave people in this place: having to find a new normal?
I can only imagine what it would feel like to lose a child. It brings me to tears to think of it - and I've had friends who have lost babies and a sister who lost her son. I have not had it happen to me.
And so many say it is the worst thing that can happen to you.
And still.............. I find myself looking for myself and wondering who I have become. Who is this stranger? I am not who I thought I would become. And the world around me is unrecognizable at times. I can create only so much of it myself, and much is other's doing, and the rest, I suppose is what I didn't do that I could of.
Completely different, I am sure - but still, I wonder: am I at a crossroads of finding my own new self: my own new normal.
I read yesterday on the Compassionate Friends Facebook site that losing a child changes you forever and when well-meaning people want you to get back to your old self, that the comments were all in agreement: you are never your old self again and you have to find your new normal.
How many other tragedies leave people in this place: having to find a new normal?
I can only imagine what it would feel like to lose a child. It brings me to tears to think of it - and I've had friends who have lost babies and a sister who lost her son. I have not had it happen to me.
And so many say it is the worst thing that can happen to you.
And still.............. I find myself looking for myself and wondering who I have become. Who is this stranger? I am not who I thought I would become. And the world around me is unrecognizable at times. I can create only so much of it myself, and much is other's doing, and the rest, I suppose is what I didn't do that I could of.
Completely different, I am sure - but still, I wonder: am I at a crossroads of finding my own new self: my own new normal.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Marketing to Singles
I have been on dating sites so much that the adverstisement during any Youtube video I watch always asks me, "Did a hot guy messge you today at PlentyOfFish.com today? Check here."
The advertisement on my own Facebook page this morning reads, "
The advertisement on my own Facebook page this morning reads, "
What do the married folks get as advertisements?
Monday, January 10, 2011
I am called
Yesterday in Sunday School my pastor friend was talking about the times of the prophets throughout the Bible. While talking about one of the time periods, she said it appeared that God was losing.
Sometimes when I listen to the news, it feels like God is losing today. The hatred and fear and rejection and hunger and violence is overwhelming. The fact that it is broadcast into my bedroom first thing in the morning sometimes causes me to feel like I can't breathe. I am supposed to be a part of the solution and all I want to do is put my head under the covers and stay in the warmth of my bed and breathe (and hide).
I am only one person. A person with my own disappointments in life..... feeling a bit overwhelmed with the responsibility of my job, my singleness as a parent, my finances.... actually of just doing life as a single woman. I am tired of doing it all alone.
And yet, I am called. I am called. And I feel inadequate and incapable. I feel scared and lonely and yes, a little selfish about what I want to do with my time. How many times have I said, "no" to the call.
And yet..... I am called.
Sometimes when I listen to the news, it feels like God is losing today. The hatred and fear and rejection and hunger and violence is overwhelming. The fact that it is broadcast into my bedroom first thing in the morning sometimes causes me to feel like I can't breathe. I am supposed to be a part of the solution and all I want to do is put my head under the covers and stay in the warmth of my bed and breathe (and hide).
I am only one person. A person with my own disappointments in life..... feeling a bit overwhelmed with the responsibility of my job, my singleness as a parent, my finances.... actually of just doing life as a single woman. I am tired of doing it all alone.
And yet, I am called. I am called. And I feel inadequate and incapable. I feel scared and lonely and yes, a little selfish about what I want to do with my time. How many times have I said, "no" to the call.
And yet..... I am called.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Parties of the Heart
Parties of the Heart...from Radical Grace, Fthr. Richard Rohr
"Somewhere each day we have to fall in love, with someone, something, some moment, event, phrase, word, or sight...Somehow each day we must allow the softening of the heart. Otherwise our hearts will move inevitably toward hardness. We will slowly become cynical without even knowing it.... So create and discover the "parties" of the heart, the places where we can enjoy and taste the moment-the places where we can give of ourselves freely to what is right in front of us. If you're not involved in giving your thoughts, your emotions to others, for-giving reality, as it were, taking will usually take over. One style or another eventually predominates in almost every life. Ask God to give you the grace to fall in love with something every day. Then you'll see rightly, because only when we are in love do we understand. Because only when we've given ourselves to reality can we in fact receive reality...." |
And here are my own words:
I am in a party of rest. From this moment until I return from my cruise, may my heart and soul just rest: from the heartbreak of summer, from the craziness of dating sites and first and last dates, from the worries of my children and my parents, from the rushing around and celebration of the holidays, from the becoming 50 and growing older, and from the anxiety of what has been and what will be. God, just let me rest from all of this for just a while. And may I fall in love with myself, my world, my life……. as it is.
Amen.
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