Chosen Loss

Every time.
Every single time.


When I miss him?


I remember
he chose 
not to stay.


And something in me
hurts
a little differently
then if I had lost
him to death.


I am glad
he is
alive and well
but the sadness
would be sweeter
had he stayed.


Broken relationship,
although loss,
feels almost,
almost like I
don't deserve
...the grief.


The very real
grief.


All because
he chose it.