Today is the new day. Jill is graduated from high school. And although she will be home much of the summer, and Grant is also home for the summer, a new day has dawned and I feel it. My plans for this day look exactly as I pictured. I am at Shanley park, sitting on Dave's blanket, writing on his iPad, listening to one of the park's water fountains and Joshua Radin on the iPhone with Dave laying beside me with his eyes closed looking pretty content and happy.
Don't know that I have anything more profound to say other than we all deserve to live out our dream at least part of the time. My Dad told me I had a right to my dreams too, and he was right. It seems to me that the first step is to create the dream, or I might say conjure up the magical intention, and the next steps are a heavy combination of belief and trying and starting again, and did I mention believing?
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Endings and Beginnings
I am sitting in my favorite morning spot: my back porch, drinking a hot cup of coffee, dogs laying by my side, and the birds singing all around me. I am in this world that God created. I live day to day with the good and the bad, the perplexing and simple, the confusion and the ah-ha moments, with the beautiful and the ugly. I breathe, I stretch, I wonder, I let go, I accept, I love.
Today is so important as my beautiful 18 year old daughter is graduating from high school tomorrow night. Family and friends are gathering, preparations have been made: signs painted for the highway, photos lined up to sum up a beautiful life to music, cakes ordered, dinner reservations made, groceries bought, lawn mowed, house cleaned, and nail appointments at the ready. 2 nice dresses for her and the perfect pair of shoes to match her gown. What would I stress about? I have everything to be grateful for. Airport run this afternoon to pick up one grandma and one grandpa who travel the USA to be at grandchildren's graduations. I am blessed. We are loved.
Last night I received a bittersweet gift: A call from a man who I had once loved. I did not answer but let him leave his message. He is moving this weekend to the west coast. I do not find it at all a coincidence that it was just 9 months ago when he told me he wanted to move when Jill graduated from high school. The same amount of time to create a brand new life within myself, nine months, and so it is. I bless him and release him to his life, his journey and new love and light. Let not your heart be troubled, but in all things, rejoice. I celebrate what was and what is.
As for me: I have met a man who is suited for me and is present in my life in the present. I need not look back, for I have today and hopefully tomorrow with him. He is kind, gentle, fun, sweet, and handsome. He makes me smile more times in the day than ever before, and he is here for me when ever I need him. Love is always around us. Will we reach out and receive the love God radiates into his creation. As for me, I am open and ready and willing and grateful for another opportunity. I never, ever want to forget that God is in the business of restoration and new beginnings. He heals, He comforts, and He redeems each and everyone of us everyday.
Jill, I wish you joy and peace and fun and strength and courage and intelligence and wisdom and love. Always accept and receive love and all second and third and fourth chances at all that God will create in your future. Look forward and use your past as a learning experience for your future. Remember the this one small truth: Love is always the answer to every question.
And we continue on in the forwardly direction with hope and faith and love. Good morning and I mean to say that it is a GOOD MORNING, a new day, and God is ever present in it all.
Namaste
Today is so important as my beautiful 18 year old daughter is graduating from high school tomorrow night. Family and friends are gathering, preparations have been made: signs painted for the highway, photos lined up to sum up a beautiful life to music, cakes ordered, dinner reservations made, groceries bought, lawn mowed, house cleaned, and nail appointments at the ready. 2 nice dresses for her and the perfect pair of shoes to match her gown. What would I stress about? I have everything to be grateful for. Airport run this afternoon to pick up one grandma and one grandpa who travel the USA to be at grandchildren's graduations. I am blessed. We are loved.
Last night I received a bittersweet gift: A call from a man who I had once loved. I did not answer but let him leave his message. He is moving this weekend to the west coast. I do not find it at all a coincidence that it was just 9 months ago when he told me he wanted to move when Jill graduated from high school. The same amount of time to create a brand new life within myself, nine months, and so it is. I bless him and release him to his life, his journey and new love and light. Let not your heart be troubled, but in all things, rejoice. I celebrate what was and what is.
As for me: I have met a man who is suited for me and is present in my life in the present. I need not look back, for I have today and hopefully tomorrow with him. He is kind, gentle, fun, sweet, and handsome. He makes me smile more times in the day than ever before, and he is here for me when ever I need him. Love is always around us. Will we reach out and receive the love God radiates into his creation. As for me, I am open and ready and willing and grateful for another opportunity. I never, ever want to forget that God is in the business of restoration and new beginnings. He heals, He comforts, and He redeems each and everyone of us everyday.
Jill, I wish you joy and peace and fun and strength and courage and intelligence and wisdom and love. Always accept and receive love and all second and third and fourth chances at all that God will create in your future. Look forward and use your past as a learning experience for your future. Remember the this one small truth: Love is always the answer to every question.
And we continue on in the forwardly direction with hope and faith and love. Good morning and I mean to say that it is a GOOD MORNING, a new day, and God is ever present in it all.
Namaste
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Amazing and Magnificent
My dark chocolate Dove wrapper at lunch today read, "Keep the promises you make to yourself."
Oh my, that is so appropriate for me these days.
I made a promise to myself that I would write more, spend more time alone in solitude, create more, and do what makes my heart sing - which might just be what I am purposed to do, or at least that is part of the search and adventure and journey. I promised five mock ups of a creative idea, I found in my conscious mind rolling around, singing a song.
Sadly, however, I seem to put "my life" off. It is still somewhere "out there". I am again in survival mode, doing that which must get done now, and "my life" is going to start after I get "all this" done.
I am going to name this behavior, for it is a part of my action. And it is bigger than just doing graduation tasks or home chores. This is about avoiding stretching and growing "my life".
I shall name it Purpose Avoidance.
How's that.
What might cause me to avoid MY purpose?
Might it be fear, apathy, or sheer laziness?
Might it be bad habits?
Might it be disbelief in myself...... in the Power far greater than me..... disbelief in God?
I have been told that I am amazing. I have been told I am magnificent and I like hearing that, but do I believe it?
Sadly, I think I am someone with "a little something" to share, that may or may not be important or valuable to someone else, ...but I think it might matter to one or two..... or more.
Oh my! That sounds a great deal like disbelief.... in me. In who God created me to be.
OK - I am not claiming Purpose Avoidance. I have named it, but I do not claim it.
Instead, I claim AMAZING and MAGNIFICENT.
Namaste
Oh my, that is so appropriate for me these days.
I made a promise to myself that I would write more, spend more time alone in solitude, create more, and do what makes my heart sing - which might just be what I am purposed to do, or at least that is part of the search and adventure and journey. I promised five mock ups of a creative idea, I found in my conscious mind rolling around, singing a song.
Sadly, however, I seem to put "my life" off. It is still somewhere "out there". I am again in survival mode, doing that which must get done now, and "my life" is going to start after I get "all this" done.
I am going to name this behavior, for it is a part of my action. And it is bigger than just doing graduation tasks or home chores. This is about avoiding stretching and growing "my life".
I shall name it Purpose Avoidance.
How's that.
What might cause me to avoid MY purpose?
Might it be fear, apathy, or sheer laziness?
Might it be bad habits?
Might it be disbelief in myself...... in the Power far greater than me..... disbelief in God?
I have been told that I am amazing. I have been told I am magnificent and I like hearing that, but do I believe it?
Sadly, I think I am someone with "a little something" to share, that may or may not be important or valuable to someone else, ...but I think it might matter to one or two..... or more.
Oh my! That sounds a great deal like disbelief.... in me. In who God created me to be.
OK - I am not claiming Purpose Avoidance. I have named it, but I do not claim it.
Instead, I claim AMAZING and MAGNIFICENT.
Namaste
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