Surrender and Perspective

Do you have any idea how hard it is for someone who likes to be in control of life to surrender? To surrender to what is and what is not going to be? Wow! It is torture. It feels impossible. I am not very graceful or gracious while letting go. Possbibly because I am clinging to what was, or what I think should be. How graceful can one be as they cling to someone's leg as they are trying to leave town? I am... really doing this.... almost. I am a grown up wise woman for heaven's sake.

For someone who is used to getting what I work for, it is exhausting to work at something that is beyond my control. It is painful. It is frustrating. It brings me to my knees. It paralyzes me. It eats at me. It makes me lose my appetite. It drives me to drink. It makes me want to escape. It makes me mad. It makes me sad. It certainly, as you can tell (:>), makes me crazy.

Let go, let go, let go.

What simple, simple words.

What a complicated task.

In Melodie Beattie's The Language of Letting Go she says, "Our happiness is not a present somene else holds in his or her hands. Our well-being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim. If we reach out and try to force someone to give us what we believe he or she holds, we will be disappointed. We will discover that it is an illusion. The person didn't hold it. He or she never shall. That beautifully wrapped box with the ribbon on it that we believed contained our happiness that someone was holding - is an illusion!

"In those moments when we are trying to reach out and force somone to stop our pain and create our joy, if we can find the courage to stop flailing about and instead stand still and deal with our issues, we will find our happiness."

She also says "Too often, we try to gain a clear perspective before it is time. That will make us crazy. We do not always know why things are happening the way they are... or why a door closed. How our present circumstances will work into the larger scheme of events is not always clear to us. That is how it needs to be.

"Prespective will come in retrospect.

"We could strain for hours today for the meaning of someting that may come in an instant next year.

"Let it go. We can let go of our need to figure things out, to feel in control.

"Now is the time to be. To feel. To go through it. To allow things to happen. To learn. To let whatever is being worked out in us take its course.

"In hindsight, we will know. It will beome clear. For today, being is enough. We have been told that all things shall work out for good in our life. We can trust that to happen, even if we cannot see the place today's events will hold in the larger picture."

Tonight, I will take these wise woman's words to heart and allow them to comfort my soul.

I surrender to all there is, was, and ever will be.

Namaste