Last Halloween of kids in school in my home. Wow! Where did the years go?
I cooked tonight ~ Chili in Baked Bread Bowls, topped with cheese. Orange jello with sour gummy worms. Pumpkin Pie Cake with Cool Whip.
My daughter and her boyfriend took turns answering the door, giving out treats to the little ones... and the big ones who can't quite give up the trick-or-treat tradition even though they stand taller than me. We had plenty and were quite willing to share with the small and the tall.
My son was here for the weekend. He spent his time with friends, but I got a couple hugs and a chance to send him home with some groceries. I will see him at Thankgiving.
Yesterday, my daughter finished her early application process. Three applications in the mail and over the internet to her top 3 picks. We hand delivered a packet of application odds and ends to TCU yesterday and then went out to lunch. Precious Moments.
Friday night was senior night for the football players, cheerleaders, stow-aways, and band. My daughter's Dad and I posed for pictures with her and then linked our arms with hers and walked through the Pirate tunnel onto the football field to hear her name announced (and ours). There is a finishing up of high school beginning way too soon. And yet it is ALL SO GOOD. The honoring of these kids and their activities.
We made it to play offs that night. The kids have EARNED this. My daughter pointed out tonight that I was younger than her the last time Granbury Pirates went to the playoffs. Obviously, she was pointing out just how long ago that was. :-) I got the opportunity to be down by the high school section at the end of the game. We were tied and the clock was at 3.8 seconds. We had worked the ball down the field and we lined up for a field goal. I was praying, the kids were hollering and so excited in anticipation, and the ball was snapped, put in the kicking position and just like the movies - everything sloooooooooowed down as the ball went up and up and then yes, over and in-between. The referee's arms went up, the kids went wild, the cheerleaders were jumping up and down, the boys were proud and happy.
It was our turn, don't you think? As I was walking out of the stadium, my daughter's boyfriend's senior sign under one arm and my daughter's bouquet of flowers in the other, I got in-between some of the Burleson players. They were tall and big compared to my small frame. And I saw that one boy was crying. They lost their chance at the playoffs and it broke their hearts, just as it would have broken ours for our kids. I suspect this boy was a senior and this was "his last chance", but I don't know. So, whose turn was it? Well, this year, it was the Pirates. I don't think we wanted it more than them. We just won this time.
I pray for all these young people. I pray for my son and his friends; my daughter and her friends. The world moves fast and is not always so kind, and never, ever, ever fair. I pray they make wise choices. I pray for their health, their safety, self-discipline, and for good times. Gut wrenching laughter and smiles as they lay their heads down to sleep. God bless them real good.
Well, folks ~ Halloween is officially over at my house. The candy dish is empty, the jack-o-lantern's candle has been blown out, the porch light has been turned off.
Halloween will come around again next year - and the small and the tall will visit my front porch again, but I expect the inside of my home will be a bit more quiet and a bit less busy.
God bless us all real good.
Namaste
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Who I am and What is
When I first saw my therapist many years ago, she asked me, "Who are you, Judy?" She recalls that my expression was like a deer caught in the headlights. I remember not knowing what she meant by the question. I could answer it by telling her what I did for a living, by telling her that I was married and telling her about who I was married to. I could tell her that I was a Mom and tell her about who my children were. I could tell her my denomination, my major, my CPA exam scores. I could tell her who I had as friends and what I did in my spare time.
This is not what she wanted to hear. She wanted to know WHO I WAS. It brings tears to my eyes to remember... I did not know. I had hopelessly lost my way. I was sick and tired. I knew what I did, what I had accomplished, but I didn't know who I was.
I went and visited with her a few weeks ago. I told her through tears over the phone that I couldn't pull myself together. It was another moment of not knowing who I was, or at least doubting who I was and what I might have done.
That afternoon I was sitting across from her in her living room and she asked me. "Judy, how do you know that what happened was supposed to happen?"
If I were to ask her, I would bet that I had that same look as I had years ago in her office. I had no idea... how I was supposed to know that WHAT had happened was supposed to happen. My thoughts bounced around from because I wasn't supposed to live in Oregon, because I didn't want to leave my children, because Texas was my home? Because the moon was full, because I was born in December, because my palm said it was to be so?
She waiting and allowed me to think and ponder the question a bit more and then she said, "the way we know that what happened was supposed to happen, is that it did."
Because, it did.
Those were the wise woman's words.
We know it... because it happened.
She continued that the suffering comes from not only from the grief and the broken heart, but also from arguing with what is.
I'm not sure of the connection between these two seasons of my life other than relationships with the men I loved were complete and I was clinging to them... wanting what was... to change.
What is can be celebrated given the proper time and mind set.
What is often is better than what was.
Not always, but sometimes.
I am a stronger and more independent woman than I was before. I have so much more courage and kindness and compassion than before.
I know more about who Judy is today than I did before.
I am a survivor. I am a fighter. I am strong. I am courageous. I am fierce. I love, I care, I wonder. I seek. I play. I dance. I write. I create. I love more.
Tonight I celebrate who I am and what is.
Namaste
This is not what she wanted to hear. She wanted to know WHO I WAS. It brings tears to my eyes to remember... I did not know. I had hopelessly lost my way. I was sick and tired. I knew what I did, what I had accomplished, but I didn't know who I was.
I went and visited with her a few weeks ago. I told her through tears over the phone that I couldn't pull myself together. It was another moment of not knowing who I was, or at least doubting who I was and what I might have done.
That afternoon I was sitting across from her in her living room and she asked me. "Judy, how do you know that what happened was supposed to happen?"
If I were to ask her, I would bet that I had that same look as I had years ago in her office. I had no idea... how I was supposed to know that WHAT had happened was supposed to happen. My thoughts bounced around from because I wasn't supposed to live in Oregon, because I didn't want to leave my children, because Texas was my home? Because the moon was full, because I was born in December, because my palm said it was to be so?
She waiting and allowed me to think and ponder the question a bit more and then she said, "the way we know that what happened was supposed to happen, is that it did."
Because, it did.
Those were the wise woman's words.
We know it... because it happened.
She continued that the suffering comes from not only from the grief and the broken heart, but also from arguing with what is.
I'm not sure of the connection between these two seasons of my life other than relationships with the men I loved were complete and I was clinging to them... wanting what was... to change.
What is can be celebrated given the proper time and mind set.
What is often is better than what was.
Not always, but sometimes.
I am a stronger and more independent woman than I was before. I have so much more courage and kindness and compassion than before.
I know more about who Judy is today than I did before.
I am a survivor. I am a fighter. I am strong. I am courageous. I am fierce. I love, I care, I wonder. I seek. I play. I dance. I write. I create. I love more.
Tonight I celebrate who I am and what is.
Namaste
Friday, October 29, 2010
Precious Last Moments and the Push Pull
My daugther's senior year is moving along way too fast. Tonight is the last home football game. Tonight the senior's involved in many activities will be honored at the game. The parents get to walk them across the field while they are introduced. A photographer will take our picture so we can remember this honor and this one of many "lasts" of this year. My daughter will be honored for cheerleading, so I will wear purple and I told her Dad to wear a pirate shirt so we will look color coordinated. You just can't take the wife out even when you aren't. :-)
My son was home last night and told me he misses high school - senior year. He said everyone thinks they want it done and over, but actually, it was pretty good living, and pretty easy living, compared to college and being "on your own". I suppose not everyone feels that way, but he does. I sure do love that tall, handsome young man, who is still my little blonde boy in my heart.
Only 2 football games left and our chance to be in the play-offs is now or next week. We need to win another game. We can do it, I know we can. Stay tuned.
We have come so far - 2 years ago, when my son was a senior and my daugther was a sophomore, we lost 10 games in a row. Last year we lost 9, winning one. We felt like champions that night in Joshua - winning a game after so many losses. This year has been so much fun for these kids. For the boys who play, the wins are their personal success, but for the rest of the student body, the wins bring so much joy and smiles to their faces. There is more "pep in their step" to say something our Grandmothers might have said back in their day.
Next week, we are going to go visit A & M. Mom, that's me, and Dad will join forces as parents and take our girl to visit the big campus. It's a great school, but oh so big. It's not that far away compared to my days in South Dakota, but for Texas, it feels really far away. I want the very best for my children, but I have to admit, it is hard to let go.
There is a push - pull on my part as I continue the growing up and out process of raising children. Pull them close, and then push them towards the edge of the nest - and then a pulling them close again, holding and sqeezing and not wanting to let go, and then another push towards the edge of the nest. How will it feel that day I drive away from her dorm room next year. Oh my, I already know how it will feel - such a mixture of emotion. Excited for her, scared for her, happy for her - and excited for my next season of life, scared for me, and happy for me.
Life is not for sissy's. It's tough, even in it's best moments.
But - oh my, life can be oh, so good, too!
Namaste
My son was home last night and told me he misses high school - senior year. He said everyone thinks they want it done and over, but actually, it was pretty good living, and pretty easy living, compared to college and being "on your own". I suppose not everyone feels that way, but he does. I sure do love that tall, handsome young man, who is still my little blonde boy in my heart.
Only 2 football games left and our chance to be in the play-offs is now or next week. We need to win another game. We can do it, I know we can. Stay tuned.
We have come so far - 2 years ago, when my son was a senior and my daugther was a sophomore, we lost 10 games in a row. Last year we lost 9, winning one. We felt like champions that night in Joshua - winning a game after so many losses. This year has been so much fun for these kids. For the boys who play, the wins are their personal success, but for the rest of the student body, the wins bring so much joy and smiles to their faces. There is more "pep in their step" to say something our Grandmothers might have said back in their day.
Next week, we are going to go visit A & M. Mom, that's me, and Dad will join forces as parents and take our girl to visit the big campus. It's a great school, but oh so big. It's not that far away compared to my days in South Dakota, but for Texas, it feels really far away. I want the very best for my children, but I have to admit, it is hard to let go.
There is a push - pull on my part as I continue the growing up and out process of raising children. Pull them close, and then push them towards the edge of the nest - and then a pulling them close again, holding and sqeezing and not wanting to let go, and then another push towards the edge of the nest. How will it feel that day I drive away from her dorm room next year. Oh my, I already know how it will feel - such a mixture of emotion. Excited for her, scared for her, happy for her - and excited for my next season of life, scared for me, and happy for me.
Life is not for sissy's. It's tough, even in it's best moments.
But - oh my, life can be oh, so good, too!
Namaste
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Jack-o-lanterns, Silver Coins, and College Applications
What a wonderful night I am having. My daughter and her boyfriend were here when I walked in the door. They were carving their jack-o-lantern when I arrived. They named him Norman - I bet the naming thing was my daughter's idea. Would a guy name the jack-o-lantern. I mean, really? Well.... maybe.
I got to cook for them and everything, which felt really good for a change of pace. Come home and cook. Most nights someone is rushing off somewhere and there just isn't time, and then of course, there are those nights when I'm just too tired to even think what to cook, so we go out, or order in.
Last night I went to my belly dancing class. I love it!!! I really do love it! I bought a blue scarf for my hips with all these beautiful silver coins that cling and clang as I try to move my hips without moving my legs or knees. Impossible. And then we worked on moving our torsos with out our hips, legs, arms - oh my! And then we moved the torso in a circle with a lift and a dip - but no movement from the legs, hips, knees, heels, arms..... hahahahahaha. Really? Is anything really moving at all? Someday I will have this all figured out. What fun - and what a great work out for lots of muscles in lots of places.
One of the best parts? The music is fabulous - lots of drum. I have always been a lover of the drum. I feel drums inside my soul.
My daughter finished her college applications this week. She is still waiting on her guidance counselor to send in her evaluation to the most beloved college of all. She is not sure her counselor wants her to go to college. She has been called into the office 3 times to be asked what exactly needs to be done with a promise that she will "send it today". Saturday we hand deliver the application to the college of her choice, the home of the mighty Horned Frogs. We pray that all the other paperwork makes it there. Prayer is good for many reasons. One of which it keeps us focused and thinking positively.
Tomorrow is SAT test result day. Ooooooo Awwwwwwwwwwwww! Will it be good news? If I pray tonight, will it change the score? These are questions I ask myself.
So, no bad news - only good 'ole livin' news. Hope you all enjoy following my life. LOL! Maybe tomorrow will be more interesting. Course, as for me, I have truly enjoyed living this very simple day.
God bless us all.
Namaste
I got to cook for them and everything, which felt really good for a change of pace. Come home and cook. Most nights someone is rushing off somewhere and there just isn't time, and then of course, there are those nights when I'm just too tired to even think what to cook, so we go out, or order in.
Last night I went to my belly dancing class. I love it!!! I really do love it! I bought a blue scarf for my hips with all these beautiful silver coins that cling and clang as I try to move my hips without moving my legs or knees. Impossible. And then we worked on moving our torsos with out our hips, legs, arms - oh my! And then we moved the torso in a circle with a lift and a dip - but no movement from the legs, hips, knees, heels, arms..... hahahahahaha. Really? Is anything really moving at all? Someday I will have this all figured out. What fun - and what a great work out for lots of muscles in lots of places.
One of the best parts? The music is fabulous - lots of drum. I have always been a lover of the drum. I feel drums inside my soul.
My daughter finished her college applications this week. She is still waiting on her guidance counselor to send in her evaluation to the most beloved college of all. She is not sure her counselor wants her to go to college. She has been called into the office 3 times to be asked what exactly needs to be done with a promise that she will "send it today". Saturday we hand deliver the application to the college of her choice, the home of the mighty Horned Frogs. We pray that all the other paperwork makes it there. Prayer is good for many reasons. One of which it keeps us focused and thinking positively.
Tomorrow is SAT test result day. Ooooooo Awwwwwwwwwwwww! Will it be good news? If I pray tonight, will it change the score? These are questions I ask myself.
So, no bad news - only good 'ole livin' news. Hope you all enjoy following my life. LOL! Maybe tomorrow will be more interesting. Course, as for me, I have truly enjoyed living this very simple day.
God bless us all.
Namaste
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Reasons, Seasons, Lifetimes, Do It Anyway
Today I am sharing other artists words, not my own. These mean a great deal to me and are some of the more cherished writings, lyrics and music that I keep in my files. Many of us have heard this many times, but I wanted to post it here along with a song. I hope you enjoy today as I share others' work.
A Reason, A Season Or A Lifetime
When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a god-send, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, your desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
And then the song "Do It Anyway" by Martina McBride:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SE3S7VcyOPU&feature=fvsr
You can spend your whole life building something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away ... build it anyway
You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way ... dream it anyway
God is great, but sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway ... I do it anyway
This worlds gone crazy and it's hard to believe,
That tomorrow will be better than today ... believe it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart, for all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away ... love em anyway
God is great, but sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway ... yeah, I do it anyway
You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway ... yeah, sing it anyway yeah, yeah I sing ... I dream ... I love ... Anyway
Monday, October 25, 2010
Out There
I haven't blogged in a few days. When I started this activity last month, I wanted to blog several times in one day. I had to "hold myself back". Writing is an outlet for me and I have received so much support and encouragement from friends and family that it seemed right to go ahead and share and put my writing "out there".
When we put ourselves "out there", whether it be our art or anything else, we open ourselves up to the world's comments. There is a place on my blog to comment. And, I post the link of each blog to my Facebook page which leaves me open to comments from a lot of people. Well, a few anyway.
Last week I received an email from someone who wasn't so complimentary of my work. This person chose to be critical, telling me how I should think and feel, and ended it with an "I love you". I didn't feel very loved.
In fact, I didn't feel very liked.
No matter what my head told me, my feelings were hurt and I didn't really want to write and put myself "out there".
But time goes by, and we heal.... and we shake the rest off.
This weekend I went on a date. After my breakup, I was not so sure I would ever feel like dating again, but dating is another way of putting ourselves out there if we are single and wanting to be in relationship. I was nervous like I have been on every first date I have ever been on - that doesn't change with age or with practice - but I did it and had a really nice time.
My sister told me I was courageous. Maybe, she is right. In my book, she is much more courageous than me - but I will take the complement and enjoy the warmth that it brings to my heart.
Namaste
When we put ourselves "out there", whether it be our art or anything else, we open ourselves up to the world's comments. There is a place on my blog to comment. And, I post the link of each blog to my Facebook page which leaves me open to comments from a lot of people. Well, a few anyway.
Last week I received an email from someone who wasn't so complimentary of my work. This person chose to be critical, telling me how I should think and feel, and ended it with an "I love you". I didn't feel very loved.
In fact, I didn't feel very liked.
No matter what my head told me, my feelings were hurt and I didn't really want to write and put myself "out there".
But time goes by, and we heal.... and we shake the rest off.
This weekend I went on a date. After my breakup, I was not so sure I would ever feel like dating again, but dating is another way of putting ourselves out there if we are single and wanting to be in relationship. I was nervous like I have been on every first date I have ever been on - that doesn't change with age or with practice - but I did it and had a really nice time.
My sister told me I was courageous. Maybe, she is right. In my book, she is much more courageous than me - but I will take the complement and enjoy the warmth that it brings to my heart.
Namaste
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Homecoming in Texas in 2010
This morning I have been letting my mind run back to my high school years. I suppose, it is very natural to get nostagic as I watch my daughter enjoy Homecoming week as a senior in her high school. Homecoming is better here - in Granbury, TX and in 2010. No doubt. They got fireworks at their spirit rally. And they were not your backyard kind of fireworks. This was a professional show. It brought tears to my eyes, but I can cry at just about anything these days. :-)
Last night was the parade. It was Monday and it was at night. I remember our parades being during the day, on Friday, I think. Back then, the cheerleaders rode in convertibles and here they walk and cheer and stunt and tumble. That's pretty cool. They don't have to wear coats and mittens and hats. It was 70 degrees... at night.
The homecoming queen and king candidates rode in pick up trucks last night in Texas. In the back of pick up trucks actually. They threw candy and waved like all queen and king candidates do, you know. Not much difference in the generations there. My daughter thought it was good to have the candy to throw - sort of kept the awkwardness at bay.
The band marched and that seemed the same. Great uniforms, great music, but a much better percussion section. They call them drum lines here and in this day of age.... don't hear "percussion section" much any more.
We have Stow-Aways here. They wear little cowgirlish outfits.. with hats. Got to dig the hats. Back home in my day, we had Soul 20. That meant 20 girls wearing gloves and carrying pom poms. They wore pleated skirts and sweaters. And many of them were my best friends. I remember pictures of them marching in a Homecoming parade in the rain.
The other difference is how young football players and cheerleaders can be now a days. We had, of course, the Varsity float (the big guys, the ones who have a shot at playoffs this year.. so proud of those boys), the JV float, the 9th grade center float, 8th Grade boys from AMS and GMS, 7th Grade boys from AMS and GMS, and then the younger boys. Each float brought younger boys by until one group of kids were called Pee Wee and oh my goodness - can those toddlers really play football?? Cute, cute, cute, but maybe we are taking football to an extreme here in Texas??? No, no, no. They play young in California too. I know they do.
Today is Decade Day at school. Each day the kids are supposed to dress up as any decade they choose. Jill chose the 70's and went to school in my old cheerleading uniform. I spent some time ironing the pleats back into the skirt and sewing on the letter to the front of the sweater. She has long hair just like I had at her age (still do, I guess) so she tied a skinny red ribbon in her hair (we didn't wear the big ole bows like they do these days). I even had my old saddle shoes and my Sturgis Scoopers button. Buttons are very retro.
Mums are another story in Texas. We gave out Mums. First they only went to girls and they were real flowers - with a red "S" made out of a pipecleaner put in the middle of the flower. Oh my goodness, you must see Texas mums! They are an art project to behold. They can have lights and teddy bears on them - full size teddy bears. There is a single mum, but there are also doubles and triples. The boys were garters - that's a Mum around your arm. All of the Mums have all this ribbon and dangle down doo dahs that match the person's activities. You can have your band instrument or the ball of your sport or your year of graduation or hearts. You put your name on one of the ribbons and you put your boyfriends name on the other ribbon to declare your coupleness. The kids start wearing these in about 4th grade. It's a hoot!
Well there is more to come this week. More dress up days for school, the wearing of "the dress" during halftime of the game as Jill's Dad escorts her down the 50 yard line and I cry, the game itself, and the dance. I will keep on remembering my own memories, but I am also very, very present in the life of this Mom enjoying every minute of her daughter's senior year, as Mom.
Namaste
Last night was the parade. It was Monday and it was at night. I remember our parades being during the day, on Friday, I think. Back then, the cheerleaders rode in convertibles and here they walk and cheer and stunt and tumble. That's pretty cool. They don't have to wear coats and mittens and hats. It was 70 degrees... at night.
The homecoming queen and king candidates rode in pick up trucks last night in Texas. In the back of pick up trucks actually. They threw candy and waved like all queen and king candidates do, you know. Not much difference in the generations there. My daughter thought it was good to have the candy to throw - sort of kept the awkwardness at bay.
The band marched and that seemed the same. Great uniforms, great music, but a much better percussion section. They call them drum lines here and in this day of age.... don't hear "percussion section" much any more.
We have Stow-Aways here. They wear little cowgirlish outfits.. with hats. Got to dig the hats. Back home in my day, we had Soul 20. That meant 20 girls wearing gloves and carrying pom poms. They wore pleated skirts and sweaters. And many of them were my best friends. I remember pictures of them marching in a Homecoming parade in the rain.
The other difference is how young football players and cheerleaders can be now a days. We had, of course, the Varsity float (the big guys, the ones who have a shot at playoffs this year.. so proud of those boys), the JV float, the 9th grade center float, 8th Grade boys from AMS and GMS, 7th Grade boys from AMS and GMS, and then the younger boys. Each float brought younger boys by until one group of kids were called Pee Wee and oh my goodness - can those toddlers really play football?? Cute, cute, cute, but maybe we are taking football to an extreme here in Texas??? No, no, no. They play young in California too. I know they do.
Today is Decade Day at school. Each day the kids are supposed to dress up as any decade they choose. Jill chose the 70's and went to school in my old cheerleading uniform. I spent some time ironing the pleats back into the skirt and sewing on the letter to the front of the sweater. She has long hair just like I had at her age (still do, I guess) so she tied a skinny red ribbon in her hair (we didn't wear the big ole bows like they do these days). I even had my old saddle shoes and my Sturgis Scoopers button. Buttons are very retro.
Mums are another story in Texas. We gave out Mums. First they only went to girls and they were real flowers - with a red "S" made out of a pipecleaner put in the middle of the flower. Oh my goodness, you must see Texas mums! They are an art project to behold. They can have lights and teddy bears on them - full size teddy bears. There is a single mum, but there are also doubles and triples. The boys were garters - that's a Mum around your arm. All of the Mums have all this ribbon and dangle down doo dahs that match the person's activities. You can have your band instrument or the ball of your sport or your year of graduation or hearts. You put your name on one of the ribbons and you put your boyfriends name on the other ribbon to declare your coupleness. The kids start wearing these in about 4th grade. It's a hoot!
Well there is more to come this week. More dress up days for school, the wearing of "the dress" during halftime of the game as Jill's Dad escorts her down the 50 yard line and I cry, the game itself, and the dance. I will keep on remembering my own memories, but I am also very, very present in the life of this Mom enjoying every minute of her daughter's senior year, as Mom.
Namaste
Sunday, October 17, 2010
How Many Fish per Person is Allowed?
This morning, at church we watched a video where we were encouraged, when we felt some discontent, to say "It could be worse". Now, I am not particuliarly a fan of that game because we need to deal with our hurts and discontentments, not just minimize them by saying they don't matter.... that we don't matter. Honor your discontentment and then find a positive solution to move closer to contentment: help someone else, go talk to a friend or counselor, take a bubble bath, clean a closet or two, you get the drift.
However, one of my discontentments is that I am a single woman in every sense of the word. I haven't had a date since my last encounter with that tall handsome boyfriend I used to have a while back, and sometimes, in case you haven't noticed, I feel a bit lonely and certainly a little sorry for myself.
I was reading my email on the dating website to which I belong - no, I am not embarrassed to admit I am looking online for a man who shares my interests, goals, life situtation, and desires. Where else can you find eligible, single men in the right age group and know they are interested in knowing you are single. Anyway, I digress...
Today I came across this man who has posted a profile to find a second woman for his life. And I thought about his wife, from whom he needs to keep "this" all discreet, and it was easy for me to say, "It could be worse".
Here is his very real profile I found on the dating webiste. Perhaps if you read it with astonishment, you might laugh. As for me, it made me want to find his wife and tell her. BTW: in all his discreetness, he's 42 and from Benbrook. Do you suppose any of that info is true???? What a cheat and liar and creep! Oh, and he says he is not religious. So, here's to hoping there are NOT plenty of fish for Mr.-Need-One-More-Woman-But-I-Gotta-Keep-My-Job-and-Family-In-the-Dark-of-Who-I-Really-Am-Way-Down-Deep-In-My-Soul-Man.
"Hi. I am married and not interested in changing my marital situation because of children and other reasons. My marriage has evolved into a platonic or more of a sibling relationship over the years. We are good friends.
I am looking for a dynamic, intelligent, beautiful woman to develop a genuine friendship with benefits situation. I hope to find someone in a similar situation to myself.
I am a professional person, with a corporate job in healthcare. I need to be very discrete not only because of my marriage but because of my job as well. I have had opportunities to have friends with benefits with women at work or in my community. However, I prefer to remain more discrete. I will share a picture, but am a little paranoid about sending my picture. I hope you understand.
I tend to be very intellectual, especially when I am nervous. I can be a bit shy; but love goofing around and love to laugh. I am a very passionate person.
I am an average looking guy. I am 6ft tall, 240lbs with an athletic build. I am not an unattractive person. I have a full head of hair, straight teeth, no tattoos, no facial hair, and dress relatively conservative. I am drug free, don’t smoke and have no diseases. Most people say a look a lot younger than I am. I certainly feel younger!
Maybe we can email and talk on the phone for starters?"
Well, as long as he is tat-free and shaves everyday....... Oh, for goodness sakes.
Shake his oily-dift off, girls! There are better fish in the sea. I am certain!
Namaste.
However, one of my discontentments is that I am a single woman in every sense of the word. I haven't had a date since my last encounter with that tall handsome boyfriend I used to have a while back, and sometimes, in case you haven't noticed, I feel a bit lonely and certainly a little sorry for myself.
I was reading my email on the dating website to which I belong - no, I am not embarrassed to admit I am looking online for a man who shares my interests, goals, life situtation, and desires. Where else can you find eligible, single men in the right age group and know they are interested in knowing you are single. Anyway, I digress...
Today I came across this man who has posted a profile to find a second woman for his life. And I thought about his wife, from whom he needs to keep "this" all discreet, and it was easy for me to say, "It could be worse".
Here is his very real profile I found on the dating webiste. Perhaps if you read it with astonishment, you might laugh. As for me, it made me want to find his wife and tell her. BTW: in all his discreetness, he's 42 and from Benbrook. Do you suppose any of that info is true???? What a cheat and liar and creep! Oh, and he says he is not religious. So, here's to hoping there are NOT plenty of fish for Mr.-Need-One-More-Woman-But-I-Gotta-Keep-My-Job-and-Family-In-the-Dark-of-Who-I-Really-Am-Way-Down-Deep-In-My-Soul-Man.
"Hi. I am married and not interested in changing my marital situation because of children and other reasons. My marriage has evolved into a platonic or more of a sibling relationship over the years. We are good friends.
I am looking for a dynamic, intelligent, beautiful woman to develop a genuine friendship with benefits situation. I hope to find someone in a similar situation to myself.
I am a professional person, with a corporate job in healthcare. I need to be very discrete not only because of my marriage but because of my job as well. I have had opportunities to have friends with benefits with women at work or in my community. However, I prefer to remain more discrete. I will share a picture, but am a little paranoid about sending my picture. I hope you understand.
I tend to be very intellectual, especially when I am nervous. I can be a bit shy; but love goofing around and love to laugh. I am a very passionate person.
I am an average looking guy. I am 6ft tall, 240lbs with an athletic build. I am not an unattractive person. I have a full head of hair, straight teeth, no tattoos, no facial hair, and dress relatively conservative. I am drug free, don’t smoke and have no diseases. Most people say a look a lot younger than I am. I certainly feel younger!
Maybe we can email and talk on the phone for starters?"
Well, as long as he is tat-free and shaves everyday....... Oh, for goodness sakes.
Shake his oily-dift off, girls! There are better fish in the sea. I am certain!
Namaste.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Pity Partying
Things that suck:
I miss what was. I wonder how much time I have spent in my life missing what used to be and what I thought was coming and didn't.
I saw a wall hanging today that said something like "Life is all about Having a Plan B".
Sometimes I feel like I am on Plan Q... But that is when I am at my pity party which I seem to be emeshed in right now. And no one else seems to be here. There isn't any music, food, beer, or people here. In fact - it's really, really lonely here. Perhaps it is time to stand up, brush myself off, and head on home.
Maybe I need food. I usually feel better after food. :-)
Let's take care of ourselves today.
And while we're at it, let's take care of each others' hearts as well.
Namaste
- Broken collar bones.
- Diabetes.
- Relationships that end.
- Death before it's time.
- Divorce.
- Broken promises.
- Allergies.
- Being broke.
- Coffee in the morning.
- A smile anytime.
- A really good cry.
- Chick flicks.
- Book stores
- New babies.
- Vacation.
- A cold beer.
- Black Hills.
- Siesta Key.
- Pelicans.
- Mom's cinammon rolls.
- Dancing.
- Horses.
- A phone call at just the right moment.
- Home.
- Iced Tea.
- Chips and Salsa.
- Hugs.
- A new outfit.
- Friends.
- Entering the sanctuary.
- Gifts.
- Leather
I miss what was. I wonder how much time I have spent in my life missing what used to be and what I thought was coming and didn't.
I saw a wall hanging today that said something like "Life is all about Having a Plan B".
Sometimes I feel like I am on Plan Q... But that is when I am at my pity party which I seem to be emeshed in right now. And no one else seems to be here. There isn't any music, food, beer, or people here. In fact - it's really, really lonely here. Perhaps it is time to stand up, brush myself off, and head on home.
Maybe I need food. I usually feel better after food. :-)
Let's take care of ourselves today.
And while we're at it, let's take care of each others' hearts as well.
Namaste
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Looking for Depth? Empty Tonight.
One of my favorite things about Thursday is Grey's Anatomy. I wasn't home to see it tonight. I was at Taste of Granbury with my daughter and a bunch of Seniors in High School and their parents serving for tips. The kids raised $2,000. Woo Hoo!!!!!
It was worth missing Grey's Anatomy. Not because of the $2,000, but because it was so wonderful to work along side of these kids and parents. I was honored. What wonderful people. Sometimes I forget to get out of the center of attention and serve. I do. I admit it. It is one thing I notice about myself. There is an opportunity here for growth.
My back sort of hurt from standing on my feet. I wonder if it has anything to do with my belly dancing class last night??? I want to belly dance again. I really do.
My goodness, I am rambling. If this were an assignment with a writing or English teacher there would be all sorts of comments, written in red, all over my paper...... Probably something about lack of composition, order, logic, or maybe even relevance.
So, let me pull something out of my hat that is relevant:
Hmmmmmm...................
Thinking....... thinking....... thinking........
OK, it's a bust. What I'm thinking about, I can't write about. Sorry! Too much on my mind that I just can't write about.... tonight, anyway. So I guess, that's all I got tonight for outward expression. My apologies.
Namaste
It was worth missing Grey's Anatomy. Not because of the $2,000, but because it was so wonderful to work along side of these kids and parents. I was honored. What wonderful people. Sometimes I forget to get out of the center of attention and serve. I do. I admit it. It is one thing I notice about myself. There is an opportunity here for growth.
My back sort of hurt from standing on my feet. I wonder if it has anything to do with my belly dancing class last night??? I want to belly dance again. I really do.
My goodness, I am rambling. If this were an assignment with a writing or English teacher there would be all sorts of comments, written in red, all over my paper...... Probably something about lack of composition, order, logic, or maybe even relevance.
So, let me pull something out of my hat that is relevant:
Hmmmmmm...................
Thinking....... thinking....... thinking........
OK, it's a bust. What I'm thinking about, I can't write about. Sorry! Too much on my mind that I just can't write about.... tonight, anyway. So I guess, that's all I got tonight for outward expression. My apologies.
Namaste
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Belly Dancing and Grace
I typed my blog and was at the ending of Namaste and in trying to correct some spelling, I did something (who knows what) and deleted the entire blog. There was no outline, it was freestyle, as usual. And now it is gone, gone, gone. I am ready to cry... seriously.
As with so many things in my life....
Allow me to begin again.
12 friends.
12 bellies.
24 hips.
12 hearts.
1 awesome belly dancer.
Tonight we danced.
Belly dancing.
The evening was enchanting, liberating, sexy, fun!
We learned the basic moves and then we got to put them together and perform to the drum solo. Over and over and over again. Bliss!
After our class, several of us stood around and talked about our lives.
The evening progressed into a lesson of grace for me.
We got to speaking about giving gifts with great intention, and what might happen should those gifts not be used for the good that we intended.
In the book Loving What Is by Byron Katie, she speaks about "three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God's... Anything that's out of my control, your control, and everyone else's control - I call God's business... If I am mentally in your business or in God's business, the effect is separation... If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine?"
Perhaps if we apply Ms. Katie's approach to the gifts, we find that giving the gifts is "my business". What is done with the gifts is "your business". And what happens in this person's life because of the gifts is "God's business".
One friend pointed out that this is grace. Webster's defines grace as "unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification". Can we not extend grace from human being to human being by giving a gift that is perhaps unmerited, by our human definitions and standards, but by God's standards, is divine assistance given for this person's regeneration or sanctification. God knows, there are so many who need regeneration in our world.
May we all learn to give in Grace (our business) and then let go and allow yours and God's business be theirs.
Namaste
As with so many things in my life....
Allow me to begin again.
12 friends.
12 bellies.
24 hips.
12 hearts.
1 awesome belly dancer.
Tonight we danced.
Belly dancing.
The evening was enchanting, liberating, sexy, fun!
We learned the basic moves and then we got to put them together and perform to the drum solo. Over and over and over again. Bliss!
After our class, several of us stood around and talked about our lives.
The evening progressed into a lesson of grace for me.
We got to speaking about giving gifts with great intention, and what might happen should those gifts not be used for the good that we intended.
In the book Loving What Is by Byron Katie, she speaks about "three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God's... Anything that's out of my control, your control, and everyone else's control - I call God's business... If I am mentally in your business or in God's business, the effect is separation... If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine?"
Perhaps if we apply Ms. Katie's approach to the gifts, we find that giving the gifts is "my business". What is done with the gifts is "your business". And what happens in this person's life because of the gifts is "God's business".
One friend pointed out that this is grace. Webster's defines grace as "unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification". Can we not extend grace from human being to human being by giving a gift that is perhaps unmerited, by our human definitions and standards, but by God's standards, is divine assistance given for this person's regeneration or sanctification. God knows, there are so many who need regeneration in our world.
May we all learn to give in Grace (our business) and then let go and allow yours and God's business be theirs.
Namaste
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
When the Past has Passed
I read in Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert the "Instructions for Freedom". There were 10 steps, but I really liked three of them, so those are the only ones I am going to recite here. You can read the book for the rest if you so desire.
1. "The day is ending. It's time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now, let go.'
2. "When the karma of a relationship is done, only love remains. It's safe. Let go."
3. "When the past has passed from you at last, let go. Then climb down and begin the rest of your life. With great joy."
I reread #1. Something beautiful turning into something beautiful. There is hope. There is growth. There is MORE. There is something after... next. And it is beautiful. Let go and let it happen.
I really love in #2 that she uses the word "done" as opposed to over. Something about the word "over" makes me think of a bad ending. "Done" gives me a sense of something running it's course as it should have. It is done. The end came as it was supposed to. The lessons were learned and the season is done. Done is what I am when I finish.
And #3 gives me hope that the rest of my life can start and it can start joyfully. Isn't that nice to think of the rest of your life starting with great joy? It sounds good to me. I am going to claim that hope, that suggestion, that promise.
May we all "climb down" and begin the rest of our lives with great joy.
And so it is. And so it shall be.
Namaste.
1. "The day is ending. It's time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now, let go.'
2. "When the karma of a relationship is done, only love remains. It's safe. Let go."
3. "When the past has passed from you at last, let go. Then climb down and begin the rest of your life. With great joy."
I reread #1. Something beautiful turning into something beautiful. There is hope. There is growth. There is MORE. There is something after... next. And it is beautiful. Let go and let it happen.
I really love in #2 that she uses the word "done" as opposed to over. Something about the word "over" makes me think of a bad ending. "Done" gives me a sense of something running it's course as it should have. It is done. The end came as it was supposed to. The lessons were learned and the season is done. Done is what I am when I finish.
And #3 gives me hope that the rest of my life can start and it can start joyfully. Isn't that nice to think of the rest of your life starting with great joy? It sounds good to me. I am going to claim that hope, that suggestion, that promise.
May we all "climb down" and begin the rest of our lives with great joy.
And so it is. And so it shall be.
Namaste.
Monday, October 11, 2010
No Guts, No Glory
Dating at this age is a bit daunting. It's not for sissys. It takes time, patience, and guts.
You married people are lucky you aren't out here in this crazy world of internet match making and cyberspace relationship hunting.
Of course, that is the easy part (if there is an easy part) - all it takes is the time and the patience.
Taking the next step - giving over your phone number - agreeing to meet for coffee or a drink. Now that is when the guts part comes into play.
I'm not getting any younger, you know. Time is marching along --- it was pointed out to me tonight that perhaps I was too old to date "just for fun", and that, at my age, I better keep marriage as my intention. Oh, the wisdom of the young....
God be with me... seriously.
Namaste
You married people are lucky you aren't out here in this crazy world of internet match making and cyberspace relationship hunting.
Of course, that is the easy part (if there is an easy part) - all it takes is the time and the patience.
Taking the next step - giving over your phone number - agreeing to meet for coffee or a drink. Now that is when the guts part comes into play.
I'm not getting any younger, you know. Time is marching along --- it was pointed out to me tonight that perhaps I was too old to date "just for fun", and that, at my age, I better keep marriage as my intention. Oh, the wisdom of the young....
God be with me... seriously.
Namaste
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Dresses and Choices
Sometimes I need to write. Just like a runner needs to get her shoes on, even with a foot and a half of snow on the ground, I find the need to sit down in front of my screen, turn on some of my favorite music, and allow my fingers to glide across the keys creating... expressing my art outwardly. It is almost as if my fingers move with the internal movements of my soul, my spirit.
Today my daughter and I went dress shopping. She was nominated onto the Homecoming Court and although it should be a huge honor, there have been mixed emotions and feelings as not everyone at the high school is honoring her or the other candidates. It seems there are those who are spreading untruths and making hurtful comments about her and some of the other nominees. I don't know why people choose unkindness. Unfortunately, it is a reality in our world, and one that breaks hearts.
Regardless of all of this, we put on our smiles, grabbed our purses and her heels, and went dress shopping today. And shopping is one of our favorite things to do together. We started at Grapevine Mills Mall and worked our way back towards Granbury. And yes, we found a dress; actually we found two, which required a choice. Truth be told, she couldn't make a bad decision. Both dresses were beautiful on her and either was a good choice. She chose, we paid, and we came home, collapsed on our couches and took naps while Julie and Julia played on the DVD.
Regardless of the cruel world "out there", home remains a warm, safe place to land.
Namaste
Today my daughter and I went dress shopping. She was nominated onto the Homecoming Court and although it should be a huge honor, there have been mixed emotions and feelings as not everyone at the high school is honoring her or the other candidates. It seems there are those who are spreading untruths and making hurtful comments about her and some of the other nominees. I don't know why people choose unkindness. Unfortunately, it is a reality in our world, and one that breaks hearts.
Regardless of all of this, we put on our smiles, grabbed our purses and her heels, and went dress shopping today. And shopping is one of our favorite things to do together. We started at Grapevine Mills Mall and worked our way back towards Granbury. And yes, we found a dress; actually we found two, which required a choice. Truth be told, she couldn't make a bad decision. Both dresses were beautiful on her and either was a good choice. She chose, we paid, and we came home, collapsed on our couches and took naps while Julie and Julia played on the DVD.
Regardless of the cruel world "out there", home remains a warm, safe place to land.
Namaste
Crossing Over
I skipped out on blogging yesterday. It was a good day and yet it was the anniversary of my nephew's death. I thought about blogging about it and just didn't have the words yesterday. David was only 10 years old, and I have been amazed at how many people this 10 year old boy knew, how many people loved him, and how much good has been done in his name this past year. I know David is up in heaven watching over all of us. He will be there when I move on from this place, and it makes me feel a bit less scared of crossing over knowing he will be there when I get there.
My niece, David's cousin of course, is waiting patiently for her baby to be born. She is 9 months and 5 days into her pregnancy, and ready, as we all were to meet her son. I was hoping that he would be born either on the 8th or the 9th since, for some reason, that would just seem right. Losing David last year on those days, and welcoming this new baby boy, this year. Although there is a saying that "timing is everything" there is another that says "all in good time", and Baby N is "taking his time", and it really doesn't matter when he shows up except that today would be really cool, dont' you think? 10-10-10. Cool birthday - probably very lucky to be born on this day.
I have another friend who is sitting by her mother's bedside watching and praying and tending to her Mother's last days, hours, minutes, seconds. I can imagine it is very hard for her and yet it must be a very sacred and holy moment as well. I have been sending prayers and white light her way as she waits and works and tends and nurtures.
And so we wait and celebrate babies crossing over into birth on this earth, and we wait and grieve and celebrate sons and mothers crossing over into eternal life.
Namaste
My niece, David's cousin of course, is waiting patiently for her baby to be born. She is 9 months and 5 days into her pregnancy, and ready, as we all were to meet her son. I was hoping that he would be born either on the 8th or the 9th since, for some reason, that would just seem right. Losing David last year on those days, and welcoming this new baby boy, this year. Although there is a saying that "timing is everything" there is another that says "all in good time", and Baby N is "taking his time", and it really doesn't matter when he shows up except that today would be really cool, dont' you think? 10-10-10. Cool birthday - probably very lucky to be born on this day.
I have another friend who is sitting by her mother's bedside watching and praying and tending to her Mother's last days, hours, minutes, seconds. I can imagine it is very hard for her and yet it must be a very sacred and holy moment as well. I have been sending prayers and white light her way as she waits and works and tends and nurtures.
And so we wait and celebrate babies crossing over into birth on this earth, and we wait and grieve and celebrate sons and mothers crossing over into eternal life.
Namaste
Friday, October 8, 2010
Pep Rally and My Humps
I cashed in a half day of vacation so I could spend the morning at the high school. Granbury has a home football game tonight and so there was a pep rally this morning. A group of football players wore the cheerleaders uniforms and the cheerleaders wore the boys jersey's. This made for a lively assembly.
My job this morning was to supply burritos for about 45 kids. I ordered them and picked them up as any good working Mom knows how to do.
When I arrived at the locker room, the football players were just showing up. The cheer coach showed the boys where all the cheerleading uniforms were and instructed them on appropriate fit as well as proper under-uniform attire. The boys had a lot of fun trying to find a skirt that might stay on even if it couldn't be zipped and a top that actually covered thier mid-drifts. It was really fun to listen to them talk to each other and ask one other how their uniform looked.
When it was time to practice, everyone was loud and excited, and it felt like mayhem to me, but the boys really were working on getting all their moves right, and the cheerleaders were working with them to teach them how to show spirit. Others were going back and forth bringing in megaphones and poms and cd player, etc.
The boys' list of responsibilities for the pep rally included the Fight Song, Cheer, Introductions, Band Song, and Routine. They knew the Fight Song fairly well as they sing it themselves at the end of each game. Their Cheer was to be the echo song back and forth "Everywhere we go-oh; People Want to Know-oh; Who we Are-re; So We tell them; We are the Pirates; Mighty, mighty pirates....." Introductions were a bit difficult as they kept forgetting which cheerleader they were when their name was called out. The Band Song was mostly about running in place and keeping their poms moving. Then we come to "The Routine". They were working on a routine to the song "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas.
OK - here is my precious 17 year old daughter walking them through this moves to this song as she said "slowly" and rather than count it out, the movements went with the words, so here she is calling out the words:
"Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside your trunk
I'ma gonna get you get you drunk
Get you love drunk off my hump
My hump my hump my hump my hump
My hump my hump my hump my lovely little lumps
Check it out"
After I write this I want to say "Lovely", but in a bit of a sarcastic, dry humor way, rather than the Lovely from this song. (I love all music, and I have loved this song from the first time I heard it.)
Seriously though, the boys were a hoot!!!! And although they got a bit carried away with their entrance and, therefore, missed most of the actions to the Fight Song, and although the announcer skipped introductions, they stole the show with their uniforms, their enthusiasm and their tumbling. Yes, many of these boys could tumble. Perhaps not with great form, but hey, they could do back flips as well as back tucks as well as a few histerical cart wheels and front rolls!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!
The boys received lots of laughter and Woo Hoo'ing with their routine.
Myt thoughts this morning were about how these events are where you see the very best in our young people. All the kids coming together to raise spirit for their athletic teams. There are kids participating in so many activities: band, ROTC, dance, cheer, football, tennis, volleyball, student council, and sitting in the stands being supportive by dressing for the spirit day, and standing up and woo hoo'ing when appropriate.
What a lot of fun those kids had this morning. And so did I!!
As my Dad said so well, this is where these kids learn the life long lessons of teamwork, leadership, getting along, creating, speaking, etc. The facts are learned in class. Living is learned in the extracurricular activities.
Here's to hoping we win big tonight: Volleyball and Football!!!!!! Go Team Go!
Namaste
My job this morning was to supply burritos for about 45 kids. I ordered them and picked them up as any good working Mom knows how to do.
When I arrived at the locker room, the football players were just showing up. The cheer coach showed the boys where all the cheerleading uniforms were and instructed them on appropriate fit as well as proper under-uniform attire. The boys had a lot of fun trying to find a skirt that might stay on even if it couldn't be zipped and a top that actually covered thier mid-drifts. It was really fun to listen to them talk to each other and ask one other how their uniform looked.
When it was time to practice, everyone was loud and excited, and it felt like mayhem to me, but the boys really were working on getting all their moves right, and the cheerleaders were working with them to teach them how to show spirit. Others were going back and forth bringing in megaphones and poms and cd player, etc.
The boys' list of responsibilities for the pep rally included the Fight Song, Cheer, Introductions, Band Song, and Routine. They knew the Fight Song fairly well as they sing it themselves at the end of each game. Their Cheer was to be the echo song back and forth "Everywhere we go-oh; People Want to Know-oh; Who we Are-re; So We tell them; We are the Pirates; Mighty, mighty pirates....." Introductions were a bit difficult as they kept forgetting which cheerleader they were when their name was called out. The Band Song was mostly about running in place and keeping their poms moving. Then we come to "The Routine". They were working on a routine to the song "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas.
OK - here is my precious 17 year old daughter walking them through this moves to this song as she said "slowly" and rather than count it out, the movements went with the words, so here she is calling out the words:
"Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside your trunk
I'ma gonna get you get you drunk
Get you love drunk off my hump
My hump my hump my hump my hump
My hump my hump my hump my lovely little lumps
Check it out"
After I write this I want to say "Lovely", but in a bit of a sarcastic, dry humor way, rather than the Lovely from this song. (I love all music, and I have loved this song from the first time I heard it.)
Seriously though, the boys were a hoot!!!! And although they got a bit carried away with their entrance and, therefore, missed most of the actions to the Fight Song, and although the announcer skipped introductions, they stole the show with their uniforms, their enthusiasm and their tumbling. Yes, many of these boys could tumble. Perhaps not with great form, but hey, they could do back flips as well as back tucks as well as a few histerical cart wheels and front rolls!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!
The boys received lots of laughter and Woo Hoo'ing with their routine.
Myt thoughts this morning were about how these events are where you see the very best in our young people. All the kids coming together to raise spirit for their athletic teams. There are kids participating in so many activities: band, ROTC, dance, cheer, football, tennis, volleyball, student council, and sitting in the stands being supportive by dressing for the spirit day, and standing up and woo hoo'ing when appropriate.
What a lot of fun those kids had this morning. And so did I!!
As my Dad said so well, this is where these kids learn the life long lessons of teamwork, leadership, getting along, creating, speaking, etc. The facts are learned in class. Living is learned in the extracurricular activities.
Here's to hoping we win big tonight: Volleyball and Football!!!!!! Go Team Go!
Namaste
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Love is Always the Answer
Sometimes.... love is not enough to keep two people together.
Regardless, love is still the answer.
Sometimes..... love requires us to let go of the dream and allow reality.
Namaste
Regardless, love is still the answer.
Sometimes..... love requires us to let go of the dream and allow reality.
Namaste
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
No Regrets
I have said in the past that after my divorce, I made 2 mistakes:
1. I bought a new dog and adopted 2 cats. (Could be 3 mistakes, I suppose.)
2. I bought a brand new car and took on a car payment. (Could be 48 mistakes, I suppose.)
Why did I do these things? Because I could. There was no one to tell me not to. And not only that, but the kids were thrilled with these decisions, so I was making everyone in my house happy.
I have talked about other mistakes in my life: a few nights of too much alcohol, a date or two that did not go well, a relationship or two that might not needed to have been, an angry word spoken or mailed once or twice..... you get the idea.
However, I am, who I am, based on not only the good decision and choices in my life, but based on the not so great ones too.
I love my pets dearly. They give me joy and a place to spend all my extra money. LOL! They love me unconditionally and can be funny at times and good company in others. Sometimes they have been the only ones in the room when I cried.... or when I danced. They have shared some very private and sacred moments with me, and I wouldn't give them away - so how could I call getting them a mistake?
My new car brought joy to me and the kids and eventually it got paid off. The car allowed me to be the driver for my kids and all their friends. It allowed me to take all my single friends out to dinner, to Halloween parties, to baseball games. That car was a way for me and the kids to meet friends, bring connections, and foster the old ones. There are many a converation that I can remember having in that car with friends and kids that brings back happy memories for me. No mistake there.
All those other "mistakes" I made helped me learn to have good boundaries. Helped me learn who I was and who I am not. Learn where my personal limitations are. Helped me learn how to communicate better.
So maybe there aren't any experiences that didn't end up serving a good purpose in some way in my life or someone else's.
I am going to try living life without regret, and loving what is.
Namaste
1. I bought a new dog and adopted 2 cats. (Could be 3 mistakes, I suppose.)
2. I bought a brand new car and took on a car payment. (Could be 48 mistakes, I suppose.)
Why did I do these things? Because I could. There was no one to tell me not to. And not only that, but the kids were thrilled with these decisions, so I was making everyone in my house happy.
I have talked about other mistakes in my life: a few nights of too much alcohol, a date or two that did not go well, a relationship or two that might not needed to have been, an angry word spoken or mailed once or twice..... you get the idea.
However, I am, who I am, based on not only the good decision and choices in my life, but based on the not so great ones too.
I love my pets dearly. They give me joy and a place to spend all my extra money. LOL! They love me unconditionally and can be funny at times and good company in others. Sometimes they have been the only ones in the room when I cried.... or when I danced. They have shared some very private and sacred moments with me, and I wouldn't give them away - so how could I call getting them a mistake?
My new car brought joy to me and the kids and eventually it got paid off. The car allowed me to be the driver for my kids and all their friends. It allowed me to take all my single friends out to dinner, to Halloween parties, to baseball games. That car was a way for me and the kids to meet friends, bring connections, and foster the old ones. There are many a converation that I can remember having in that car with friends and kids that brings back happy memories for me. No mistake there.
All those other "mistakes" I made helped me learn to have good boundaries. Helped me learn who I was and who I am not. Learn where my personal limitations are. Helped me learn how to communicate better.
So maybe there aren't any experiences that didn't end up serving a good purpose in some way in my life or someone else's.
I am going to try living life without regret, and loving what is.
Namaste
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Loving What Is
I am here again tonight, and I feel a lot better about many things.
I am reading a new book called Loving What Is: Four questions that can change your life. I am learning that "what is", is the truth about the situation; not what I think it ought to be: should be.
There is, of course, grief and the stages of which, run their course as they see fit... in their own time. For this, I remain gentle with myself. I feed myself good food, put myself to bed, allow laying around and watching old movies all day if that is what I need. I am kind to me.
But then there are other issus. And there is the fact that "we are disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens"... and "as the thinking changes, the problems, disappear". The idea is to ask certain questions to "reveal where our thinking isn't true for us" for "when we believe our thoughts instead of what is really true for us, we experience the kinds of emotional distres that we call suffering."
"What's true is always what's happening, not the story about what should be happening."
I have been doing alot of mind churning concerning what should be happening... not just today, or even in the past 6 or 7 weeks, but also way before then. I have written before that I don't control the world around me, and that causes me distress and pain. It is those thoughts - of thinking what should be happening - that is causing me a large amount of the pain. It's the thoughts!!!! Wow! Light bulb. And I am surely tired of the pain.
So, I am on the journey to learn how to love what is.
I will see where this lesson leads as I read the book and write and learn and try.
Namaste
I am reading a new book called Loving What Is: Four questions that can change your life. I am learning that "what is", is the truth about the situation; not what I think it ought to be: should be.
There is, of course, grief and the stages of which, run their course as they see fit... in their own time. For this, I remain gentle with myself. I feed myself good food, put myself to bed, allow laying around and watching old movies all day if that is what I need. I am kind to me.
But then there are other issus. And there is the fact that "we are disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens"... and "as the thinking changes, the problems, disappear". The idea is to ask certain questions to "reveal where our thinking isn't true for us" for "when we believe our thoughts instead of what is really true for us, we experience the kinds of emotional distres that we call suffering."
"What's true is always what's happening, not the story about what should be happening."
I have been doing alot of mind churning concerning what should be happening... not just today, or even in the past 6 or 7 weeks, but also way before then. I have written before that I don't control the world around me, and that causes me distress and pain. It is those thoughts - of thinking what should be happening - that is causing me a large amount of the pain. It's the thoughts!!!! Wow! Light bulb. And I am surely tired of the pain.
So, I am on the journey to learn how to love what is.
I will see where this lesson leads as I read the book and write and learn and try.
Namaste
Monday, October 4, 2010
My Hat's Off to You, Girl. Congratulations!
Tonight, I went to the 2010 Granbury Scholars Award Banquet sponsored by Parents for Academic Excellence. The dinner was for all the kids in 6th through 12th grade who finished in the top 2% of their class last school year. It was nice to honor these kids who have achieved good grades. As in anything we celebrate with others, there was sacrifice and hard-work to get to this level of achievement.
It's great to see parents and grandparents supporting and celebrating their children. It's also wonderful to see the kids enjoy one another.
I know that there is another side to academic achievement. I know there are kids who struggle with their school work... for lots of reasons. School does not come easily for all of our kids. Some kids start out "ahead" of their peers just because of their genes, their home situations, and their physical health.
Some kids need tutors to keep from failing their class or from being held back a year in school; while other kids get tutored to stay in the top 10% so they can get accepted to the state school of their choice.
Some kids work hard for their C; some kids get an A with very little study time; and some kids just lose their sense of motivation and seem to just care less each year, and while they could achieve, they choose instead... something else.
Life isn't a level playing field in much of anything, it seems.
I am proud of my daughter and her achievements. I have seen her work hard and take school seriously. I have witnessed her set a goal for herself and work until she achieved it. It's rather easy to be her parent. I take no credit for the honor she received tonight. The honor was due to her diligence. It was a goal she set for herself and she made it. Congratulations, my sweet girl!
It's great to see parents and grandparents supporting and celebrating their children. It's also wonderful to see the kids enjoy one another.
I know that there is another side to academic achievement. I know there are kids who struggle with their school work... for lots of reasons. School does not come easily for all of our kids. Some kids start out "ahead" of their peers just because of their genes, their home situations, and their physical health.
Some kids need tutors to keep from failing their class or from being held back a year in school; while other kids get tutored to stay in the top 10% so they can get accepted to the state school of their choice.
Some kids work hard for their C; some kids get an A with very little study time; and some kids just lose their sense of motivation and seem to just care less each year, and while they could achieve, they choose instead... something else.
Life isn't a level playing field in much of anything, it seems.
I am proud of my daughter and her achievements. I have seen her work hard and take school seriously. I have witnessed her set a goal for herself and work until she achieved it. It's rather easy to be her parent. I take no credit for the honor she received tonight. The honor was due to her diligence. It was a goal she set for herself and she made it. Congratulations, my sweet girl!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Forced to Rest
I had all sorts of plans for today and instead I was forced to rest. My body revolted at the end of Sunday School and decided to go into Migrain symptoms. My left eye decided not to focus and everything was blotchy and I was seeing spots. I got home slugged down a glass of OJ and ate half a Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwich, and headed for the bed. 45 minutes later, I thought I was better and Jill and I took off for FW to go formal dress shopping for Homecoming. Part way to Cresson the eye trouble returned and I pulled off the road and JIll drove me back home.
No dress shopping for today. We will have to reschedule.
This is what stress eventually does to me. I push and push and push through until either I come out the other end, or my body says, "stop pushing and stop".
So stop I did.
Tomorrow is another day.
Namaste
No dress shopping for today. We will have to reschedule.
This is what stress eventually does to me. I push and push and push through until either I come out the other end, or my body says, "stop pushing and stop".
So stop I did.
Tomorrow is another day.
Namaste
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Light and Love
Running from some feelings today. They were there in my dreams last night, and still there when I woke from sleep. They followed me in the car, and then round and round the track while I exercised. They showed up when I tried to eat, when I sat down on the couch, and they are hanging like a heavy weight against my chest right now as I type. There is a hole in my body where it hurts. I name it loss. And it seems the losses in my life, around my life, are haunting me today. Or perhaps keeping me company.
Is this the pity party that I am supposed to attend, but not stay too long? I have over stayed my welcome, I fear.
Since running from them has not helped, I am trying to sit with them all. I am trying to honor them during this holy, precious moment of time, holding them close, whispering hello and welcome, and then goodbye, as I gently release them to the Light and Love of this world.
And so it shall be.
Namaste
Is this the pity party that I am supposed to attend, but not stay too long? I have over stayed my welcome, I fear.
Since running from them has not helped, I am trying to sit with them all. I am trying to honor them during this holy, precious moment of time, holding them close, whispering hello and welcome, and then goodbye, as I gently release them to the Light and Love of this world.
And so it shall be.
Namaste
Friday, October 1, 2010
Jules
Let me tell you about Jules.
Jules loves the God that breathes life into her soul. She hears God as the voice inside her head, the feeling in her gut, and the warning and protective voice of her anxiety.
Jules loves her girlfriends and boyfriends and prefers to be with people more than without. She sees, watches, listens, and journeys with her world.
Jules loves her children and would lay down her life for either one of them.
Jules is courageous. She loves from the tips of her toes to the very top and bottom of her soul. She can laugh from her belly button and cry from the depths of her very broken heart.
Jules can forget the world and longs for that rainy day.
Jules is fun, and has no concerns for forty-something ways… some days.
Jules dances in the spotlight of life with her shoes turned loud.
Jules loves country and western music and cowboy boots and men in straw cowboy hats with smiles that make their eyes twinkle with just a hint of bad.
Jules is bad in that really good kind of way, and just irresponsible enough to not make a mess out of everything.
Jules is bold and true to herself because she knows that she will still be here even if he isn’t.
Jules has said good-bye when she really meant “just love me more”. She has cried herself to sleep and she has cried herself awake.
Jules knows life is not over… ever.
Jules knows there is more life to experience and taste and devour.
Jules is a part of me.
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